Dudley Zoo

I have to confess, until we went to The Pet Show last year, I had never heard of Dudley Zoo. It took us almost a year to finally make it there for a day out, but we finally made it last week.

We were prepared for a hilly walk- the zoo is set on the site of Dudley Castle, with the castle in the centre of the zoo. We had the special pushchair, drinks, picnic, coats, ear defenders etc all with us.

I will start at the beginning- the car park. We went on a cooler day, but still in the school summer holidays. The car park had plenty of space, but we really needed the chair to get from the car to the zoo entrance. The surface is gravel which leads out onto a tarmac pavement to the entrance, which is uphill.

The zoo entrance itself is indoors, the same location as the shop. The staff there didn't even look at our DLA letters, but we always have them anyway just in case someone actually looks at them one day. The lady who served us mentioned some maps and daily talk guides were somewhere roughly behind her, but with the children all so eager to get through the entrance I wasn't able to really listen to her. It would have been better if she had handed me one of each to be honest. The information is all on their website, which we accessed with good signal throughout the day, and there are plenty of maps around the site on boards.

Once through the entrance, the usual search for the toilets ensued. For your information- they are into the zoo, then turn left and they are next to the chair lift. The chair lift! Oh....you have to be 1.2m tall and over 7 years old (why is beyond me) and each chair is single seated. So...my very nervous, unpredicable and anxious 9 year old was tall enough and old enough to go on but I was terrified she would panic half way up it and there would be nothing I could do. My over confident 6 year old was too short and too young to go on. I can't understand why they don't change some of them to double seats. Anyway, moving on....

There is a land train that takes you from the bottom of the chair lift to the top via a longer route. This has a carriage at the back to put pushchairs in, but with everyone ramming their buggies in there like they were, we didn't are risk the chair getting damaged or falling out. We walked up and later on my husband walked down whilst I took the children on the land train.

I thoroughly recommend either having two able people who can carry the chair up and down stairs, or following the red dotted line on their maps. There are hidden steps around the site, all of which are shown on their map and easily avoided with the red route, but that often means taking a very long way around. Frustratingly it seems they could replace some of these steps with a ramp- not all of them seem possible to me- but they have stuck with the steps. Maybe it is something to do with their age or something, I really don't know. What I do know is that we need to go back again to turn right out of the zoo entrance to see the lorikeets, chimps and whatever else was up that way as there was no way we were getting past the funfair and back up another hill at the end of the day.

There is a sign at the entrance to the lemur walkthrough stating strictly no pushchairs allowed. With the combined age of the two girls 'working' there being less than my shoe size I decided not to even try explaining the special pushchair we use is actually in lieu of a wheelchair as my daughter wasn't that keen anyway. The general feeling from all the staff on the site is that they are not bothered. They don't want to be there and can't wait to get home. This is a real shame.

The worst part of our day was when we decided to have a rest by the sea lions. I only wanted to get some crisps and drinks- we can't eat or drink anything out, ever. The queue was so slow I can't even describe it to you. There were five members of staff behind the counter, two tills on the go and yet they seemed to be doing nothing. When we finally got to the till I wanted to pay for 5 bags of crisps- he couldn't find them on the till, then I ordered an orange juice, to be told they don't do it (it was on their menu above his head), a latte and three hot waters. I also needed a spare cup for the bottle of orange juice my son then found in the fridges behind us. I paid and we waited, and waited, and waited. The people before us were still waiting for two hot drinks, then our latte arrived with no hot waters. I had to remind them about those- fair enough, it happens....then I asked for that spare cup. I asked one girl, she stared at me and ignored me. I called her and asked again. Nothing. Then I asked the boy. Nothing. Then I got the attention of a second boy- the third member of staff all of whom were stood right next to eachother. I told him I was waiting for a spare cup, which I couldn't reach myself on account of the other people still waiting for their hot drinks, and that there were literally three of them stood there doing nothing and ignoring me so could he please just reach up and pass me a cup. Once cup. At last.

It seems, from what I overheard outside, that this was not just our experience there.

I should mention that my son momentarily lost his mobile phone and someone had handed it in to this same cafe. When I telephoned it they answered, didn't tell me where they were, couldn't confirm which animals they were near, but when I kept guessing they were able to confirm. My son did get his phone back. Perhaps they should have played one of the cafe games whilst they had it in their possession.

There are lots of different animals to see and little areas for the children to play and let off some steam on the way around. We had our picnic near the top of the chair lift in an area that seemed to be an old room of the castle. This had a lovely view but I did wonder where you could have a picnic in bad weather.

I liked that there weren't lots of temptations to spend more and more money during the day. There was a facepainting kiosk near the dreaded cafe, and a sweet stall near the entrance, but not much else. The exception we found was a harnessed trampoline in the castle walls. Our children all thoroughly enjoyed that as none of them had been on one for years.

The funfair was reasonably priced too. For the three children to go on everything they wanted to it cost us £15- far cheaper than at a travelling funfair. They have a token system so I would recommend adding up the tokens you will need before you go and buy any as it is cheaper to buy more.

We came away with lots of photos of our children poking their heads through boards pretending to be the different animals, photos of their favourite animals from the day and candyfloss.

Hoo Farm

Their glossy leaflets grabbed my children's attention many a time over the last 18months or so, and we have never made it until now.

I found a family ticket on Wowcher for use midweek during the summer holidays and it was excellent value compared to the normal entrance prices.

We arrived and found the tiny car park was full, so I left and parked on the pavement outside. The overflow car park is a long walk with three children with autism and a wheelchair and there were no parking restrictions in place. On our walk back in, which is along the main driveway, not ideal with impulsive children who are so easily distracted as mine, I noticed there was actually a farm gate to the left as you enter the tiny car park (no idea how anyone would turn a car to get in there unless they had been before and knew it was there) and people were parking in this area too.

The short walk in told me all I needed to know about the place- it is run down and needs some money putting into it to keep people visiting. I had suspected they may be a little like this from the fact they are on sites such as Wowcher where only a small proportion of the cost of tickets actually gets passed on to the attractions. However, we aren't a family who are wowed by flashing lights and busy places, so this didn't necessarily matter too much.

She made us wait whilst she sorted out piles of leaflets and papers- again, not ideal with three autistic children eager to get in there.

When we went in I spotted one instant issue. The floor is gravel throughout. Not just a thin layer of gravel, thick, big, chunky gravel so all day pushing the chair through it was terrible. My son had to take over a few times and my daughter had to keep her ear defenders on all day because of the noise of the gravel!

There is one disabled toilet in the place and we had a long long wait for this which turned out to be a member of staff taking FOREVER to 'clean' it. She must have missed the need for more toilet paper and the spiders! The mens only has one cubicle so it was difficult for my son to be able to use a toilet too.

The areas as you walk around bear little resemblance to the map you are given on your way in, and there is so much information provided on the paperwork that my children put it in my bag.

There is a good variety of animals to see, animals to feed and activities to do there and plenty of talks throughout the day.

We were unfortunate enough to be there on the same day as a YMCA trip who let the children ruin the under 5's play area and throw balls at us whilst they chatted and one leader was lay down on her side on the sofa. I never approach people like this, but it was so bad I went and got one of their leaders to make them aware of how unacceptable it was. If a ball had hit my youngest we would have had to leave and it would have ruined her day, and ours too. The leader told me that their group had challenging children in it and that was why they were so loud. Hmmm, no. My children would be classed as challenging by most professionals, yet they are not allowed to behave in this way in areas designated for children of a specific age that is not their own, or at all, and if you know you have children who may need more stimulation to aid their behaviour then you provide that and don't allow them the time to be distracted and display such undesirable behaviours, that was literally their job that day! Thankfully they left before us so we had some peace.

Breathe.

We sat at the tables by the under 5's play area and picnic area for our packed lunch so our youngest could wander safely (she can't sit still for long). Then we discovered the over 5's area, most of which wasn't working.

Towards the end of our time there we went to the fox talk. The member of staff running it announced that she had turned off the electric fence and that people had to be careful of their footing as they entered. She said this loudly, as if addressing us all. My children and another couple of families assumes- fairly so- that she was talking to them too and went to the gate to go in, to be told it was only for the four people who had been stood next to the woman and were on an experience. I felt so bad for all the children who had assumed this and it was completely the woman's doing. I was only glad that mine didn't take it too badly as I was able to say I had seen these encounters online and we could look at booking one maybe.

The pedal go karts were a hit - but the place needs to buy more and fix the ones they have, and the pirate water shooting game was equally as fun.

We visited their shop to break up the day a little and discovered £1.50 porcupine spines (which I would advise you buy at the end of the day, not like us as it stuck into my hand everytime I went into our bag after purchasing it), tattoos and lots of overpriced goods as well as a few pocket money priced items. I had to say no cuddly toys due to the prices so be aware of that if you have a cuddly toy fan as I do.

The animal food was a great idea on the way in. For £1 a bag each they hand fed deer, sheep and llama as well as walking in with the wallabies and hiding food for them to find later. Our walk in with the lemurs was short as the lemurs weren't playing ball and preferred to watch the people walk around their enclosure as they sat in their house - some irony there. There was a very friendly donkey who had lots of cuddles from my youngest every time we passed very slowly and reluctantly by, pigs, goats and much much more.

My children love animals and find them relaxing and comforting. Even just being around them has a profoundly positive impact on them, so for us it was still worth the day out. If your children aren't so keen on animals then there are far better places you can go within the area to see animals and have better facilities too for the same price or less.

If you are going to visit, make sure you take a supply of £1 coins with you for the pirate water shooting game, shark teeth, fossils, bouncy balls, stretchy animals and more.

For those with sensory issues it is smelly, full of old spider webs and spiders (more than needed), the gravel is a disaster and there is a lot to process as you walk around.

For wheelchairs the gravel is a nightmare, as is the tiny shop.

For autism the car parking, waiting to get in, staff being ambiguous and fact that it barely resembles the map is difficult.

I would never go there unless it was on offer again. I don't know if a carer gets in for free with a disabled visitor as on this occasion I was just glad when the lady deemed us worthy of her time to admit us to the place.

Black Country Living Museum near Birmingham

Our first visit here was during the summer holidays and using tesco vouchers. They have an offer currently, where if you purchase full price entry tickets then you can use them for entry for the next 12months, but on a first visit there is no guarantee we will stay more than five minutes, let alone be able to return anywhere.

Despite the time of year we found plenty of spaces in their car park and were able to park close to the entrance, with space to get the chair out of the car. There is a charge for parking, but this is standard at many attractions in the area unfortunately.

Our first impression upon entering was not great. Staff were too busy chatting to eachother to welcome guests and when I interrupted their conversation about their weekend plans to ask where the disabled toilets were I received abrupt directions and was told we had to join the queue. Instantly we were split into two. Husband joined the queue whilst we all went on the toilet run. I then had to undo their safety barriers to rejoin the queue as there was no way back to my husband without doing this. Thankfully the queue wasn't too long and we were reasonably prepared, but I do feel this is an area they need to improve upon.

My eldest spotted a vintage bus almost as soon as we were through the entrance gates (incidentally, for each person who is disabled and has proof, there is one carer admission for free), and bolted down the path, closely followed by my other two. Having never been here before I was unsure of the safety in the area, knew they would be lost if out of sight and so swiftly followed suit, abandoning my husband - again- with the chair that wouldn't fit in the bus. (on their website it states that wheelchair friendly transport is available if you telephone the duty manager, but I wonder if that has ever been tested- especially with a chair that people always annoyingly assume is a pushchair...I digress).

Catching this bus was actually a god send as it gave us a tour of the area and let us find our bearings- and the park and fun fair.

My plans for the day had been simple. Arrive, try to get them all in there, try to make it to the fun fair, then the park for a picnic and anything else was a bonus.
It turned out they all came up with this itinerary themselves once they spotted the helter skelter anyway, and we also managed a whole lot more.

The fun fair had some terrible reviews that had made me wary before our trip, but I found it to be perfect for us. The tokens aren't too expensive and there is a good variety of rides, without there being too many. There is no tacky fairground music, no flashing lights like at the modern fairgrounds, and they even have a mirror house. Our children LOVE the mirrors. We were in there for far longer than we should have been but who cares?

Our picnic in the park was relaxed, helped by the free deck chairs and plenty of shade available. As expected there were ridiculous queues for the chip shop, where we could have eaten chips, but a couple sat on a bench near us had queued for over half and hour for their chips, and decided they tasted just like normal chips. That made me feel a bit better for not queuing up.

The park itself is terrible for disabled visitors. There are steps everywhere, so the only piece of equipment that is accessible is a small roundabout that has bars you can move to put a small wheelchair on. As ours don't have physical disabilities we were ok, but it was so busy there we couldn't stay very long.

We let our children lead the day as this is what works best for us, and they chose to cross the bridge onto the street side, closer to the canal. We asked about ingredients in the sweet shop, but the girl didn't know. She told us 'I think these should be safe', which frankly isn't good enough. I know they are trying to be authentic, and I obviously wouldn't buy anything that I couldn't be sure of anyway, but does the law not apply here? That said, the sugar mice were too cute to resist, and I know they are ok for my youngest and would keep her going.

We eventually found the photo studio, but there are slots you have to write your name next to and these were all booked up by the time we arrived there. This was a shame as I did wonder how many of those were children messing around and would actually be free later on, especially with the smiley faces drawn there.

This led us to the boat trip area on the map our son had spotted. Across another bridge is a canal visitors centre, totally separate to the museum but with no barriers or people checking tickets. In theory we could have parked there and entered the museum for free, as people from our boat trip afterwards. This was a tad annoying given the admission prices for the museum, but maybe they will realise this one day and tighten up on it. The boat trip itself had no disabled pricing for children, and the lady told me where to leave our 'buggy'. I saw no point in correcting her, but it is annoying when people don't realise. I asked specifically how dark the tour would be, how long and how long we would be in the tunnels for. She answered my questions and my daughter was satisfied that she would be ok to go on the trip.

However, in one of the many dark caverns with noisy videos and lights playing, our youngest had a wobble and demanded to leave right now.

Obviously we couldn't do that, so I had to spend the time holding her so she didn't try to leave the boat, and try my best to keep her safe, whilst reassuring my eldest daughter that everything was ok and safe and had been there for a long time. I wish people were honest and had told us about these things. There is no way I would have taken my youngest on the trip if I had known there would be loud music and videos shown with the lights out in tunnels and caverns for that amount of time. My eldest was out out too- he really desparately wanted to try legging, but people had already been picked by the staff so he didn't get a look in. It would have been useful to have been told this, or asked if anyone wanted to try when we boarded the boat. This experience cost us more than the entrance to the museum had. But atleast we did it. Never again, but we did it.

Back in the museum again and we managed several more vehicle trips around the streets, played with some old fashioned toys and tried skipping in the street. My son had a look in the motorcycle shop, then got awkward and left when the man started asking him unwelcome questions about school and bikes. The lady in the pawnbroker was excellent. She seemed to realise my daughter was struggling to speak to her and became very visual instead in her explanations of how the shop would work. My daughter learned a lot from her.

The toilets around the museum were a bit hit and miss. Some were very noisy and others were ok. We had funny looks from people when we used the disabled, but we are used to that and ignore them.

We didn't make it to the rock and fossil shop, or the other buildings in between the park and the entrance, but it is looking positive for a return visit sometime soon, knowing what we now know we can plan a day there much better.

Long time no blog

I would love to blame this stunning weather we have been having, or the movement of the earth relative to the sun, but really? It has more to do with a lack of time where I still have the energy or brain power left to put any thoughts together to form a sentence.

Things here have continued to increase in their craziness....apparently that is possible, yes. I wouldn't have believed you if you had said that to me a year ago, yet here we are.

The same always helps to maintain the calmness...

Our little dog with a huge personality is making her feelings known increasingly and is still running to our youngest when she has a meltdown, which is amazing.
Besides that our animals seem to be all confused. Our ginger cat regularly sits in with our rabbit (sadly we had the death of a rabbit to deal with too), our rabbit plays with our dog and also growls at her when he has had enough- it really is something to watch them all together... 

Our eldest and youngest both had a lot of tummy aches and other symptoms, such as mouth ulcers, rashes and generally feeling bad that led me to doing allergy and intolerance testing for them both. It turns out that they both cannot have corn due to intolerances. I thought this would be simple enough- WRONG!! Corn is in EVERYTHING. It is so hard. Just so you know I am not just blowing this into something it isn't....

Family member 1: Allergy to dairy. Intolerant to corn and derivatives, cashew nuts, gluten, celery and more.

Family member 2: Allergy to egg. Intolerant to gluten. Intolerant but no symptoms as yet to dairy. Intolerant to cooked tomatoes.

Family member 3: Allergy to dairy products. Intolerant to gluten, corn and derivatives, peanuts and more.

Family member 4: Allergy to soya, dairy products, egg. Intolerant to gluten, yeast and more.

Family member 5: no intolerances or allergies but lives with us so has to eat all the weird food we do.

Add to this us all having hayfever, one with asthma, two with excema and it is crazy. Eating out cannot happen except for a very small choice at McDonalds, and then only at ones we can trust (not ideal).

Shopping for food is a nightmare as I have to read ALL ingredients on EVERYTHING. I cannot buy meat in the shop, it has to be from a butcher who butchers their own meat. Any processed food is a no-no. This means a lot of home cooking, most of which is a disaster because all recipes need to be altered for our diets. Plus, add on top of that the fact the children's autism and sensory processing difficulties and I wonder how they actually eat anything at all.

We are back in the loop of potato products (very few are ok but thankfully I have found a handful that work) with peas and carrots, crisps, biscuits and cereal. Of course, each of these has to be the specific brand in the specific box/bag. Our trusted cereal changed their packaging recently to advertise the new Jurassic Park film, so now our youngest can't eat those anymore :(

The rate at which we are going through Bob's Red Mill 1 for 1 flour is noones business. I am in a bit of a panic internally at the moment actually with a birthday this week coming, and the inevitable pressure of having to make a cake without all of the above ingredients. Plus, icing- this contains corn flour so is a no-no. I have learned to make my own but it is time consuming and a pain in the proverbial. I am still experimenting with cake recipes too and they might work one day but not the next- like all gluten free cooking it seems. I have discovered they like a particular brand of marzipan though- bonus!

Besides the food issues, we have been trying to keep as busy as we can, allowing for down time inbetween busy times. It seems to be working on the whole, but the days out we have been doing are very child centred. I still know that if I tried to persuade them into anything else they hadn't picked then we would be met with resistance leading to issues.

We have managed a canal tour though, something I have wanted to do since moving here, but ssshhhh....don't tell them it was my idea ;)

We have had a nice break from professionals too so things have calmed down around appointments until next week. Oh, and our eldest has started to feel able to go out a bit more and even talk to other people. Yesterday he even went on a day trip with people he hadn't met before (to a place he knows very well and with a phone to contact me if needed) and had an awesome day. We even just caught him outside playing with the boy from next door over the fence :)

Our eldest daughter has been struggling more, but she always does over these months, and we keep having to get her through, which is what we are doing currently.

Our youngest is still the whirlwind she always has been.

A rough week

Monday

Nervously attended short breaks' service sports session that he had been to before, in the same place he had been before, with the same lead as before, but new staff working for the short break provider were straight in his face, trying to include him, trying to talk to him about things he didn't want to talk about, didn't take the hints from him to shut down the conversation, inviting more and more people to talk to him. As a Mum I had alarm bells ringing loudly at this point and was amazed he even stayed for the session. By the end I had a warning text from my husband that he hadn't coped well at all and wasn't able to talk to him at all. He had stormed out past the staff at the end. Once home he sat with me and explained he had felt left out, felt noone cared there, noone had noticed him and he was angry at having to go to sessions where there are others with more obvious disabilities and needs than him, which makes him feel self conscious and he wants to go to mainstream activities. He had wanted to play basketball so the lead gave him a basketball and left him to get on with it. He didn't want to join in with the silly games others were playing so had sat on the edge, alone, watching people play badminton next door instead, with noone coming to speak to him at all.

Tuesday

Busy day with me at a course, sister at the local care farm, dog was sick, then a home education meet at a play area where his friend would be. Things have been difficult for him with his friend recently as he is noticing the age gap more and more when they are together in person (less so online but still there) and is getting frustrated. Basically both my son and his friend are very similar and strongly prefer to play their own games in their own way (in person and online) and it is difficult to know when to intervene and when to leave them work it out as a parent because this is such an important skill for them to develop, but at the same time could have explosive results. After there we headed to the gym for a quick workout and a swim, but the swimming pool was in use for lessons so our only choice was the larger, cooler pool. He wouldn't even consider that option so we stuck to the gym and shower instead. He was very down about this saying everything he had wanted to do today he hadn't been able to do.

Wednesday

Swimming. This time we checked the pool timetable before heading out solely for a swim in the lovely warm pool, after an aqua aerobics class I had booked myself onto. He was going to join in too, but the lack of males and those under 40 severely put him off (understandable) so he made do with my bank card and a trip to the cafe instead, meeting me in the pool later on, then meeting up in the cafe after our swim once again.
Later on both his sisters had a short break session booked but he didn't want to go. This, followed by a local autism group meeting, would mean him home alone for a couple of hours, but he was happy with that, knowing we had our phones and weren't far away. (He knows what to do in an emergency, has access to phones and is more than capable of getting out in a fire). Despite this he panicked and rang me, upset, asking how long we were going to be when we were on our way home.

Thursday

His sisters bank cards arrived this morning and he lost his temper, saying everything he thinks is just for him gets ruined by them getting or doing it too. Then he had his regular gymnastics session this morning where they were working towards their badges. Sadly his sister got her badge today and he has a couple of skills to pass next time before he can pass the same badge. This did not go down at all well. He was very angry and upset but did well to return to the session for the cool down at the end. We all went to the gym in the afternoon for a swim, paying for a day pass for his sisters and dad. I had spoken to him before even asking them, checking he was alright about them coming there, and he was excited that he could play with them in the pool and happy for the girls to join up to come swimming regularly with us (probably aimed more at his youngest sister I suspect though). In the pool he was rude, angry, dangerous and refused to engage or listen. He was picking on his sister again and it was a very difficult time. On top of this he was very nervous about the social worker coming in the morning to see them all and this led to a meltdown at bedtime.

Friday

Refusal to get up and see the social worker ended in him going downstairs to say hello, but she will return to see him again and fill out some paperwork she has about each child. After the stress of her visit (I have massively understated this and the effect it had on him and us here) we had time for a quick lunch (which he didn't want or like any of apparently) before his friend came over to play.


This has been a very emotional and difficult week for him and whilst I appreciate this, and can see how a lot of these things have a negative impact on him, I cannot allow the bullying of his sister to continue. I have realised he almost projects his dislike for his sister onto others who have similar needs to her when he meets them at events and activities where he then feels superior and acts as such in his role of leader. This is then all released when he returns home where he feels safe and we have to deal with the fallout.

Masking.

Our eldest daughter is able to mask her difficulties to some extent, people often just say she is quiet or shy (which makes my blood boil). But my eldest and youngest mask their anxieties in such complex ways noone ever sees it or realises what is going on, even when we have told them, leaving us to deal with the fallout time and time again.

Deja Vu

After a rough week this last week, more of which compounded these feelings for my son on the weekend, today was meant to be a good day for him. Not only did we have a gym visit planned where he would be able to use his new flippers for the first time, but also he was going to a gaming meet up with his friend and to a laser tag arena too.

In my naivety and, perhaps stupidity, I asked my husband to take him to the laser tag arena, sign him in and then meet him at the end, whilst I spent time with our two girls, before us all meeting up at the gaming meet.

All was well- the usual pep talk before he goes anywhere without me went well, he was prepared for the games and went into the arena safely and well supervised. There was little point in anyone staying in the small waiting area once the children went into the arena, so, knowing the organiser had our numbers and could easily contact us if needed, I stayed close-by with my daughters and my husband came to meet us about half way through the laser sessions.

We heard nothing. At the end of the session my husband picked my son up, collected his gaming paraphernalia and we all met at the next event.

After a time, I heard that a complaint had been made about my son. Allegedly he had hit a girl, then this girl had hit him back and was now refusing to go to any more home education meet ups in the future and was distraught. Also, the mother had spoken to the laser arena who had confirmed to her that my son had hit her first and was in the wrong. Again!!

Having learnt from last time this happened, I decided to be more proactive this time. I messaged the mother and apologised if any upset had been caused, but that it had sounded like over-exuberance during the playing of the game.

After all, there were two games played, all by the same group of children, and at no point had anyone come out of the games upset or distressed in any way, other than a younger child in the second game and my son and his friend in the first game.
Oh- wait- my son and his friend were upset? They came out of the game to find a member of staff? Yes, that's what he says and what the staff member says too- that he came out to find the staff member because a girl had been following him around, not listening to the rules about no physical contact and had hit him and kicked him, so he had used his gun to push her arm out of the way when she next came at him. At this point he went to get the lady working in there, who he pointed out the girl to, before returning to the game. Nothing more happened for the rest of the game, apart from them continuing to all shoot eachother, as per the reason for the game.
At the break before the second game, the group organiser reminded everyone present of the rules of it being a non contact game, and they all went in to play game number two.

At the end of game number two everyone went home or to the gaming meet. That was the end of it- we thought.

Since then it has transpired that this mother telephoned the worker at the laser arena and wholly contradicted her own record of events to the extent that the worker was left feeling un-nerved and wrote a report for her manager to read of the whole incident. By the time I had a phonecall back from her this evening she had written this report, offered to read it to me, and it confirmed what my son had been saying- that he didn't hit the girl at all, not to start a fight or to defend himself, that my son and his friend had gone to the worker to let her know he had been hurt by this girl and that she hadn't been following the rules of the game.

My son's name is muddied already due to an adult who should know better, so it takes nothing for people to jump to conclusions when he is potentially involved or just in the general area where anything may have occured. I am beyond disappointed in this girl and mother who have followed mistruths, tried to coerce a worker to confirming their falsehoods and have accused my son of hitting her first, unprovoked and given me all kinds of personal information about the girl's past that I do not want or need to know about. I could equally respond with a sob story of my son's life to date, or tell her that I have spoken to the staff at the game and confirmed what actually happened with them, but what is the point?

Just as the last time this sort of nonsense happened, this parent wants to have a chat after gymnastics the next time we are there. Why? What is the point? They are in the wrong, they are loud and well known here, the girl has lied and hurt my son. If anything I should be the one kicking up a fuss and nonsense about this, but things happen between children and they have to work it out themselves- to a point obviously. If things had been really bad why hadn't the girl come out of the game? Spoken to a member of staff? Not gone into the second game? Been upset or distressed at the end of, or during the first game? None of it makes any sense at all. She is older and bigger than my son, had people there in the waiting room for her, is perfectly able to speak up, so why make up this tale?

To my mind, either she realised she had hurt him and saw him speak to the staff member, therefore knew she was potentially going to be in trouble, especially as the event organiser had spoken to the adult with her at the end of the games, so she may have assumed this was to tell them she had hurt someone in there (that is not what was said though), and to avoid getting into trouble herself, she invented this fallacy to redirect any anger and annoyance from her mother onto my son.....or.......she is a pathological liar and he mother has not realised this........or........they are total nutcases, as we seem to attract these, and need help themselves.

Whichever option it is, I don't care anymore. My son's emotional wellbeing is fragile enough from the last nutcase we encountered and her lies, without anything else adding to it.

As a protective measure for myself- I am barely keeping my own shit together with everything I am constantly dealing with here, without any added complications or attention seekers trying to butt in to my life or that of my children or family- I have unilaterally decided that we will no longer go to any home education meetings or events or activities where there is the possibility of an attention seeking, loud mother deciding that my child has hurt her or her child, when this has not happened. This will severely curtail my children's lives and friendships but is the only way I can see to protect them from these crazy people.

I am under no illusions about my son. I know he can be aggressive, is very competitive, likes to be in control and struggles hugely to take other people's points of view or feelings into consideration, but I also know that he would not attack or hurt someone without provocation and good reason. He has seen enough violence to know the difference. The times he has been violent have been as a result of provocation and him being backed into a corner. He is likely to say something hurtful and then walk away, laugh at people to get away or run away and tell an adult- as he did today- but if he ever did physically hurt someone I know he would tell me- I can always tell when he is lying anyway- he would know I have his back and that I would make him apologise and make things right if he did wrong, and that he can talk to me.

If this had happened the other way around and he had come home after two games, telling me he had been hurt by this older child, my first question would have been what happened before that? then did you tell anyone working there? Did you come out of the game? Why did you feel OK to continue with the second game? Are you sure it was on purpose? and it's done now, just stay away from them and move on. As a mother why would I telephone the place where the game was held to convince a staff member they were wrong in their own account of it? Why would I message the event organiser and not the parent? Why wouldn't I speak to the parent collecting the child at the end of the session? Why wouldn't I ask my child why they seemed happy coming out of the session? It makes no sense to me at all and I cannot deal with people like this. No more.

Gymnastics

We face a weekly dilemma here- gymnastics.

All three children enjoy the sessions once we are there, all three are progressing well and are confident enough to speak to the teacher/coach (a huge achievement for them all).

But....the demand of getting there every week, knowing it is coming up and knowing who is/in't there who might be there is often too much for our eldest and youngest, leading to tension Wednesday evenings and meltdowns Thursday mornings.

I have always managed these with the aim of continuing with the sessions because I see how much they thrive when they are there and am reluctant to let it stop.

The gymnastics is held in a community hall where mats are rolled out on the floor, apparatus unfolded from a cupboard which must be related to the tardis, and then tidied away again at the end (usually by our children and the coach amongst a few others). They can work towards the gymnastic badges if they want to - of course both our children with PDA want to, and are highly competitive over who has which badge first, despite the 7 year age gap.

We had tears from our eldest child this last session for just this reason in fact. All of our children have been at 99% of the sessions, so are around the same stage in the badges too. But- our eldest daughter passed her badge this week and the other two didn't. I can hear you all gasping for air knowingly right now.

Our youngest struggles to process a lot of what is said in the sessions because of the movement, other people there, poor concentration and lack of processing time allowed for, but she copes by copying her siblings and hand signals from me. Our eldest tried his best to practice the two skills he is lacking for this badge, but the coach ran out of time, meaning he has a long wait until the next badge session. No amount of explanations or empathy helped him. In the end I took him for time out from the session, suggested a splash of cold water and a swift return to the cool down, which he took me up on, but it has compounded a difficult week for him. (concerned mother as ever).

Small things like this which can be easily brushed off by most children, are a massive issue for my children. They get stuck on unfairness, perceived uncaring and my eldest struggles hugely with the idea that one of his younger siblings might achieve something he has not (although he tends to take it better if it his youngest sibling for some reason).

Because of the processing time my youngest requires, it is heartwarming at times to see him physically helping her in gymnastics, showing her and supporting her to achieve the stretches/shapes and moves she needs to complete. But at the same time he laughs at and demeans our eldest daughter. It is at these times that praising the positive and ignoring the negative becomes tricky........but doable in the long run, with a close eye on her mental wellbeing and mental health, and strategies and techniques for her to deal with it too.

Science fun day out

Our initial plans had been kaiboshed due to two children with PDA were too anxious to leave the house, so a quick internet search located three options nearby for me to take my eldest daughter for a fun day out, just me and her.

Option 1 was Lapworth museum https://www.birmingham.ac.uk/facilities/lapworth-museum/index.aspx

Option 2 was ThinkTank in Birmingham http://www.birminghammuseums.org.uk/thinktank

and Option 3 was The Space Centre in Leicester https://spacecentre.co.uk/

She doesn't do decisions or choices very easily, so we looked at their websites together. 1 had fossils and dinosaur bones, 2 had a dinosaur skull and lots of hands on science things to do as well as a planetarium and 3 had a planetarium, lots of hands on space things to do and the added advantage that we had been there before, so she would recognise it (albeit a few years ago now).

From a practical point I had to rule out option 1 due to weekday parking issues with our tall vehicle (so frustrating when we cannot fit into a car park nearby). 

She decided option 2 would be the best choice for her. 

I had heard of ThinkTank a few years back when we house sat for someone in this area, but had seen mixed reviews and lots of talk of cost and public transport. However, a quick search located a car park we would get into right next door to ThinkTank, the cost was very reasonable for entry and it seemed to have a huge variety of areas and topics covered inside.

Off we went, dodgy phone navigating us there (I had my fingers crossed all day that it wouldn't switch itself off so we could get home too). Even in the car park there were signs to ThinkTank, so it was looking good. Our only wobble was once we left the car park and the signs disappeared, leaving us surrounded by students, trying to get the same dodgy phone to work on google maps.....then I spotted a huge sign inside a building around the corner, indicating ThinkTank was right infront of us. Phew!

At the reception desk, the man we saw couldn't have been more helpful. He let her choose which planetarium show to watch, with no rush at all, pointed out all the information we needed to know- picnic areas, lockers, toilets, cafe, outdoor garden and planetarium location. When we sat down to have our picnic there were several school groups also doing the same (but still plenty of free seats and tables for us to use), so a member of staff showed us a quieter place to have our picnic without me needing to ask. There are two lifts in the central column of the museum, and a staircase winds around them to all floors also. My daughter finds descending stairs difficult, especially when feeling under pressure, so the lift was useful.

Despite the large numbers of school groups in the museum, we hardly saw any of them, and did not have to queue for any exhibit, wait for any activities or have any problems or altercations. My daughter was able to follow the map from floor to floor, selecting which activities she wished to try and returning later to the others. She was very impressed with the child size city, the water play and the natural history sections, also loving the planetarium show. 

We were very lucky in the planetarium to have only 26 people there in total, and the man working there was so enthusiastic, he brought the whole show to life for her. It was all about animals in the stars, constellations and ended with a song about Orion. 

There are so many fantastic displays and hands on activities I cannot possible name them here, but thoroughly recommend a visit if you haven't been.

We bought her an annual pass before leaving, then, at home when she told her sister all about it, she wanted to go back the next day!

Off we all went this time, the five of us. Our eldest very reluctantly, our youngest so excited she needed her buggy and ear defenders to help her focus and stay safe. This, and the weekend put a different slant on our visit. This time there were lots more families rather than groups of children- obviously- and there was a tiny queue to get in (three family groups in front of us maybe). The staff were the same, very helpful, very welcoming. We still got a locker, made use of the buggy parks around the child sized city and had to use the lift. This was the only possible negative of the day, but one we simply couldn't avoid. One of the two lifts broke down during the day, leaving all visitors with the use of just one, for a museum over four floors. That said, we weren't ever waiting too long, had the buggy there for our daughter to sit in (she can't queue well) and were able to allow our eldest to go ahead (with a supervisory tail) knowing he would be safe. 

We didn't have to wait for anything again, all the exhibits are sufficiently spread out to allow plenty of scope for visitors to access them without having to queue. Our planetarium visit was a no-go for our youngest, but we knew that would happen (we had to try though as you never know what day she will do something). The other three in our group enjoyed the show and met up with us afterwards. Another bonus feature that I had missed on the previous day was that our youngest could run (as she does) from activity to activity and I was able to keep an eye on her through windows, open plan layouts and low level displays. I also knew the only way for her to change floors was the glass lift or the stairs, both centrally located, so worst case scenario I would have had to wait there for her. It didn't come to that this time (almost when we lost my husband, but not for my daughter).

We bought both our other children annual passes also that day, and plan to return very soon, hopefully on a dry day so we can fully explore the outdoor garden too.  

All meltdowns and challenging behaviours were fairly easy to avoid at ThinkTank because of the open spaces, laid back staff and wide variety of activities available. When our youngest struggled with other children there, I was able to redirect her to plenty of other areas where she was able to cope better- even checking my teeth in the dental chair at one point 'say ahhh'.

Blue badge application

When we go out anywhere, as you may have read in previous posts, we have an uphill struggle before we even leave our house. Two of our children have anxiety around going out, and with pathological demand avoidance and the anxiety led need to be in control, they have to know exactly where we are going, why, who with, how long for, who will be there, what will be there, what will it look/sound/feel like there, what the weather is like, who's idea it was to go, and then, only then, will they decide whether or not they can face going.
Once we get past this point, we then have to actually get out of the house- shoes, coats, jumpers, ipads, DVD etc all cause problems with three children with autism all trying to get their things on. No matter how we try and stagger this, or place their items of clothing in separate locations, giving them plenty of space, this does not get any easier.
Then we finally get into the van. On a good day we have done this without anyone getting hurt, without us having to physically intervene for anyone's safety, and without the whole street hearing that we are going out. On a normal day we have at least one child - usually one of our two with PDA- shouting, stomping about, slamming doors, screaming, crying, being carried to the van screaming, various states of undress as we leave the house and fingernails being dragged across the front door as we leave.

Then we get to where we are going. Parking is a nightmare. With a husband who has anxiety around busy places, finding the right parking space where we are reasonably close to our final destination is a priority, but we have a large van for this same reason, so we need a space where the neighbouring vehicles are parked within the lines, not those where people are slightly over or on the line. We then have three children with extremely limited danger awareness, who we try to navigate through the car park, making sure noone runs off as we get others out of the van. Invariable one of them will refuse to leave the van and time is spent convincing them that they need to leave it and come with us, preferably dressed appropriately for the weather conditions and wherever we are going. We have a special needs pushchair to help our youngest cope with her sensory processing needs and to enable her to cope with going out atall, so that needs to be got out of the van - usually through the side door as the van is long and we can never get to the back doors and be inside a parking space. Whilst we are putting up the pushchair, watching three children don't put themselves in danger, monitoring how busy the environment is, ensuring their ipads are safely stowed away,/held securely checking we have the ear defenders, gum, distractions needed for each of them, checking my husband is happy and coping and running throught the mental checklist of blanket, raincover, sunglasses, sensory bag, purse, phone, hand gel, dummy, cuddly toy, inhalers, tissues, snacks, drinks etc etc there is invariably someone waiting impatiently to squeeze into the car next to us. By the time we actually get anywhere we are ready to go home again.

If we are going outside for a walk then we also take our little dog with us - not so much for her to have a walk as she isn't generally interested- but so she can sit with our youngest in the pushchair for support, or so our eldest can carry/walk her which keeps him focussed on her, distracted from everything else and relatively calm.

Our eldest daughter is the most likely to wander infront of moving traffic- and has done so many times. We generally have our youngest hand in hand if she is able to walk, or in the pushchair, our eldest is usually next to me, but our eldest daughter has to hold a hand or hold the buggy to prevent her wandering off whilst in her own world. She has wandered infront of cars whilst counting kerb stones before now, only stepping on white lines of the zebra crossing led her into the path of a reversing car, she doesn't even realise when these things happen, just gets pulled back by me and then looks at me as if it was my fault. Patterns distract her so much it truly is a danger.

When any of them have too much sensory information input, or when people expect too much from them (because they all look 'normal'....yes, I hate that word too but here I feel it best describes how people view them and how that affects their expectations of them) then this comes out as escalating behaviours if we are lucky, or straight to a meltdown/panic attack, at which point we need immediate access to the van when we are out in order to allow them chance to de-escalate, or ride out the meltdown, which usually ends in exhaustion for them (and us) so they need somewhere safe and familiar to help them.

I applied for DLA for all three children before they had been diagnosed, and before we had a full understanding of all of their needs and behaviours. I need to revisit this application for our youngest, as her care needs and mobility needs are increasing, and are easily explained within her reports from her psychologist and occupational therapist. I am not sure how to do this and need to bite the bullet and find out.

Today though was our interview following my application for a blue badge for her. I am under no illusions as to the liklihood of us actually getting one, and am fully expecting to have to appeal the decision not to award her a badge, but had to try anyway. I truly do feel she needs one, and the recent news that the government is reconsidering the procedure for awarding blue badges to people with mental disabilities and hidden disabilities couldn't come soon enough.
The lady we saw today couldn't have been less helpful. She had no interest whatsoever in anything I had with me- reports backing up the need for my youngest to have regular movement breaks, her demand avoidance, anxiety, sensory processing difficulties, statements from professionals acknowledging her difficulties with going out and walking. All she seemed interested in was trying to get my daughter to say hello, then goodbye to her. As if that was going to happen! She was so anxious about going that last night was a real struggle, let alone being able to speak to the woman who was as dry as the dessert.
The space on the form to write the information on when she cannot walk, why she cannot walk, and why we are applying for the badge was no more than five lines long, and this lady had big writing. I understand that people with physical disabilities may not need much space on such a form, but there are thousands of people who have problems walking any distance, or at all in many situations, who need a lot of information noting down surely.
She wrote in the even smaller box for additional information, that we can park in mother and baby spaces! When I pointed out that these are few and far between, and often full and not in every place we need to go, she said that she didn't know as she has never needed them. This compounded my gut feeling on sitting in her office, where her lack of humanity and empathy were palpable, these jobs are literally given to anyone.
We have to wait a couple of weeks to hear a decision now, and I checked with her that there is indeed an appeal procedure, fully expecting to be turned down because physically she can walk, even though she can't. I honestly wish that the changes would hurry up and be approved throughout the UK to help families in positions like ours.

Behaviour

the word brings to my mind the years of parenting courses, sticker charts, pennies/pasta/post it notes/tokens in the jar, monetary rewards etc -none of which have worked for either of my children with PDA.

So, last year, in pure desperation I started writing everything down in a notebook to try and identify any patterns and triggers. It is the best thing I ever did for them.

I took it to Camus and they laughed dismissively, but now I am asking for physical intervention training they are taking it more seriously.

I see lots of posts from parents on social media in the position I was in last year so thought I would share a rough outline of what I did.

Of course, once I looked back and saw patterns and triggers, I used pda strategies to minimise these triggers, minimising the behaviour escalations we were having here, which has also meant any meltdowns we have tend to be shorter. To help you at this stage I recommend the pda society for strategies, and the explosive child book.

I know it feels like a lot of work when you are exhausted, but it has made things so so much easier for us all I fully recommend doing this.

Treasure trail

A few weeks ago, under the strong influence of flu, and missing being outside as it travelled through our family, I found out about Treasure Trails online. Still being relatively unfamiliar with our local area, I chose a few of these trails in various local places, ordered them to be posted to us, and have been waiting for an opportunity for us to try one of them out, well aware that this would mean getting all three children out of the house at the same time, and staying out for some time as the trails vary, but are mostly around 90minutes long apparently.

Today was the day- misty, slightly damp with the odd drizzly attempts at rain, we ventured out to a nearby town which is known for being dog friendly, looks appealing and is full of local produce with an unusually bustling town centre.

We were well prepared for this. Once we had faced the battle of our eldest leaving the house (his turn today), had the dog ready in her coat and harness, had the special needs buggy with it's raincover, footplate, sun cover and rain cover ready, had all three ipads with battery, charger, downloaded choice of programmes, coats, boots, gloves, pencils, ear defenders, dummy, drinks and the actual trail itself, off we went.

We managed to park in the narrowest space possible- quite how they expect people to exit a vehicle in these skinny spaces without touching the neighbouring car is a mystery of its' own. As it was, we did the usual of emptying the contents of the van quickly and assembling it all in the car park before fully reversing into the space. Thank goodness for sliding doors!

As I was busy trying to strap our youngest into the pushchair, secure the ipad, dog and raincover, the people from the car next to us returned. I quickly scooted the pushchair over to allow them plenty of room to get to their boot, but they just stood there staring at us. No emotions or words evident, just out and out staring at us. I chose to ignore them both and carried on making sure my daughter was safe and comfortable. We then had to wait for them to stop staring and get into their car before we could open our sliding door for our other children to get out. Part of me willed them to open it and hurry the people up, but I am glad they waited.

The trail itself is an A5 booklet with many clues and directions inside, with the aim of identifying the murderer and their weapon of choice. If you get stuck at any time you can text a free number for help up to three times during the trail. When (or if) you complete the trail and identify your culprit then you enter your details online and they tell you if you were correct or not, as well as giving you all the clue answers.

Some of the clues were straightforward, others more cryptic in nature (not my forte). Once we got into it things became easier, as it led us through parts of the town we would never have found without the trail. At times, our son was able to take control and lead the way which helped reduce his anxiety about not being in control of being out, which in turn made things a little easier for us all for a while.

We spent three hours walking around the small town centre, looking for clues, numbers and names that people wouldn't even notice without this goal. Our little dog managed to walk for a total of around a minute in all, preferring to be carried or riding in the buddy with our daughter. It reminded me of the struggles of an old style town centre, with pavements cluttered by advertising sandwich boards, tables and chairs, and people standing there for a chat, oblivious to the pushchair coming their way- I had this exact experience when my eldest was little and we lived in an old cobbled town where it was safer to walk on the roads than on the pavements.

When our anxious son was carrying the puppy he was visibly more relaxed, even commenting himself on how she was keeping him happier (and warmer). A sneaky pasty was needed at one point to keep him motivated, but £1.60 is well worth avoiding a hangry tween with PDA who did not want to be out any more and was teetering on the edge.

Our aspie daughter loved the clues and the routine and ordered nature of the trail, a lot of it was beyond her years, but I was able to simplify things for her to be able to solve clues and spot answers we were searching for.

Some of the trails we have left currently are spy trails and I can't wait for an opportunity to try our next one- although I am not so sure about the enthusiasm of everyone here.


Incase you are interested- we did get the answers right in the end, and rewarded ourselves with a visit to an old style sweet shop. We are the proud owners of a certificate showing we completed our first trail.

Know your stuff

It hit me this week after a meeting with a range of professionals, talking about my children, with the sole purpose being my request for respite.

They are all so used to dismissing us parent/carers that the only way to stop that is to argue, but argue knowing your stuff.

I was prepared for this meeting- I knew, from the last one, who was going to be there, and what their agendas were. I knew exactly what we need from each of them and researched all the jargon, terminology, our rights, purchased a printed copy of the SEND code of practice, had been in touch with relevant charities and ordered materials relevant to our needs. As a parent this is not for me to do though. Their role, as professionals there to support my children holistically, is to use the resources at their disposal to support them. They do not.

You have to know exactly what you need, what it is called, what jargon is involved and what service is commissioned to deliver it.

I had plans and reports ready for inspection should they wish to see them, stood my ground when they tried to put me off with the usual.....

We aren’t commissioned to.....

We would look at your ideas.....

Parenting programmes......

It would require a huge commitment by you......

They are reluctant to.......

Are you aware that.....

I didn’t say that, what I meant was......

It is a long process....

I see you are anxious about......

You know the drill, you will have heard it yourselves no doubt.

I am no expert in meetings or dealing with beurocratic lies, but I am an expert in my children and what they need. My best advice to anyone is to be heard. Don’t nod and accept what is being said if you see it in this shortened list above, or if you know it is not true. You are the best advocate for your child and they need you to be strong, prepared and answer back (politely) to these professional brush offs and ask persistently for what you need for them.

Please do remain polite and respectful, even though you may well be screaming inside as no one is listening. Being rude will get you written off as a difficult parent.
 When they call you anxious they are mistaking anxiety for strength and knowledge they don’t want you to have. Don’t worry, just fight for what you need.

Then scream and sing really loudly in 5e car on your way home afterwards (waiting until you have left the car park)

When the wheels fall off

Resistance to change


Poor social imagination


Rigidity of thought


Then....flu!

As the main carer givers, to catch flu and be bed bound for a week has been soul destroying. Not only is it against my normal daily routine to stay in bed for a prolonged period, doing nothing, but it is also cause for a gigantic change in routine, predictability and pulled the rug out from all three children, with awful results all week.

Having no energy to be able to negotiate endlessly about every part of every day and night, not being there in person to follow them around as they face problems throughout the day, having to cancel all plans for an entire week, for all three children, including things they were looking forward to, seeing how my being unwell stressed them even more, all made this flu so hard to cope with.

It brought home to me a number of things, namely...

We truly are alone. No one is here to help us when the wheels fall off, we have no one who can or will take the strain for us and help our children

Although I knew our daughter with aspergers/high functioning autism needs a routine of sorts, and predictability, I saw how the other two children, who have pathological demand avoidance and therefore see routine and predictability as a demand, actually struggled when there was none at all.

So I have decided that I need to look after myself more. I am not sure how yet with all our money tied up in repaying debts and paying for specialist activities for our children, and all my time spent caring for them all, but maybe I will find something active to do, outside of the house (I am not counting the trampette, bike or yoga we do here when I can). Watch this space.


One more thing:
To all those who, like Nicole Kidman, think it is clever to go out to public places when you have flu, or any other highly contagious illness....shame on you. You are selfish, causing harm to others without any care. It is no joke for us carers, those with lowered immune systems, those whose carers become ill thanks to you, those who have no one to look after them when they are ill. You should be ashamed of yourselves.
I have never understood people like you, the ones who turn up to an activity for children, stating how sick your child was last night, who go to a soft play area with your unwell child so you can have a break, who go to the cinema when you are ill.

All cats have asperger syndrome

Wow! That's my reaction to this amazing little book.

If there was a checklist for a perfect book for my daughter, 8, it would read something like this:

1. Cute cover
2. Cute, fluffy, cuddly animals inside.
3. Not too many words.
4. Means something to me or makes me feel better.
5. Cute pictures.

Well, this book ticks all of these boxes and then some.

I love books, I love how they can help and inform people without being forceful, overbearing or being misunderstood. They do not require demands, they do not chase you or contradict you. They can bring about a full range of emotions in any reader, no matter their age.

My daughter has felt different for some time. She has verbalised this to us, and we have tried our best to help her, as you will know if you have been reading these posts so far. No matter how much we reassure her that she is not weird, she is different in a good way and to embrace this as she is amazing, I think it means more when it is in print than when it comes from your Mum.

We read through every statement before giving it to her today, Every single page means so much and made us instantly think of her.

When she got home from the care farm we showed her the book and the smile that beamed across her face said it all. She loved the pictures inside but more than that she recognised herself throughout the book. She was able to see that she cannot be the only one, because someone else wrote this little book.

If you have a child with aspergers syndrome, or high  functioning autism as it is now diagnosed in the UK, I strongly recommend this book. It will help your child not to feel so alone, is not a self help type book, but a pretty and approachable book with a neutral attraction and cuteness factor.