When the wheels fall off

Resistance to change


Poor social imagination


Rigidity of thought


Then....flu!

As the main carer givers, to catch flu and be bed bound for a week has been soul destroying. Not only is it against my normal daily routine to stay in bed for a prolonged period, doing nothing, but it is also cause for a gigantic change in routine, predictability and pulled the rug out from all three children, with awful results all week.

Having no energy to be able to negotiate endlessly about every part of every day and night, not being there in person to follow them around as they face problems throughout the day, having to cancel all plans for an entire week, for all three children, including things they were looking forward to, seeing how my being unwell stressed them even more, all made this flu so hard to cope with.

It brought home to me a number of things, namely...

We truly are alone. No one is here to help us when the wheels fall off, we have no one who can or will take the strain for us and help our children

Although I knew our daughter with aspergers/high functioning autism needs a routine of sorts, and predictability, I saw how the other two children, who have pathological demand avoidance and therefore see routine and predictability as a demand, actually struggled when there was none at all.

So I have decided that I need to look after myself more. I am not sure how yet with all our money tied up in repaying debts and paying for specialist activities for our children, and all my time spent caring for them all, but maybe I will find something active to do, outside of the house (I am not counting the trampette, bike or yoga we do here when I can). Watch this space.


One more thing:
To all those who, like Nicole Kidman, think it is clever to go out to public places when you have flu, or any other highly contagious illness....shame on you. You are selfish, causing harm to others without any care. It is no joke for us carers, those with lowered immune systems, those whose carers become ill thanks to you, those who have no one to look after them when they are ill. You should be ashamed of yourselves.
I have never understood people like you, the ones who turn up to an activity for children, stating how sick your child was last night, who go to a soft play area with your unwell child so you can have a break, who go to the cinema when you are ill.