Goodbye holiday homes trust

This week we had our last holiday with the holiday homes trust. They are closing later this year sadly after operating for decades. Another victim of the costs of living in this country.

We took our daughter's friend with us on this holiday in the hopes that they woukd do some activities together and she wouldn't spend the entire holiday in her bed as she usually does. They came out with us most days and went to the tots disco most evenings too. There were still days and vast periods of days where they were in their room, daughter refusing to go out and friend bored and stuck there.

We were able to leave the caravan and go to the bar, pool, entertainment, beach and shop knowing they were safe and close by. Our son was able to go out to the shop and arcade and not have to babysit for us all the time. We changed our diet completely for the week and I dont want to have chips for some time now, but it was all eaten without complaint.

 We had all the toddler foods along with bacon for breakfasts from the on site shop.

Spending money was a point of contention as daughter refused to spend even 1p of her pocket money, only using the extra we had pricided for the week, despite at one point her having more money than we did and we were paying for 5 people's drinks and meals!

Being able to get around, access everywhere and feel less of a burden was everything.

Our caravan was truly accessible although I dont understand why they insist on not having a double bed for disabled people. We do get married too. I spent the week sleeping in the gap between the two beds we pushed together.

Today we are travelling home in the rain, again stopping for chips en route, then back to clean the house as our pet sitters have historically left it in a dirty mess and then with loads and loads of washing to do of all our clothes, bedding, towels and swim wear too. Worth the break.

Winter Wonderland

We promised our son a trip to winter wonderland this winter and fulfilled this promise at the start of the new year, a couple of days before the fair closes. 

We were able to park on double yellow lines outside the fair using our blue badges and get our wheelchairs to the entrance. For some reason Winfer Wonderland was all set up on a platform this year so our first obstacle was the entrance itself, a sheer step up which took two run up attemps in my electric wheelchair and a lot of heaving for the manual chair. The bouncers offered to help me but there wasn't anything they could realistically have done without a ramp being present.

Once inside we wandered around, past the fire pit and food stands, past the ticket booth and bar and down another step to the rides. My son wanted to go in the fun house and see what else was suitable. My son chose three rides to go on and with the way the tokens were priced it was cheaper to buy enough tokens for 4 rides rather than just 3. This meant two goes on the favourite ride...the fun house. Luckily my son can still stand and walk just enough to be able to manage the fun house with a break afterwards and before. I hope that will be the case for years to come but honestly I don't know. 

The last ride of the three was a wild  choice, a bouncing and spinning ride that went very fast forwards and backwards. Very unlike my son to go on  something like that but off P went. Watching the ride was torturous, I filmed it all, knowing P probably wouldn't go in it again. At the end I asked if P was OK with thumbs up and got thumbs down as a response. Not ok. Thankfully P was alright, just a bit shaky and unsteady but not sick. 

In between the rides we toasted some marshmallows, bought candy floss, had a hot drink and shared some chips too. The second fun house trip allowed time for that to all go down a bit. I offered ice skating as an option but P didn't fancy it that day so we will go to the ice rink one day instead.

Getting down the step to exit the fair was terrifying, my chair tipping down and forwards on its way down.

Welcome Unicorns

Looking back through my blog I have realised certain major parts of our life are missing. One needs addressing right away

There no longer is a Miss G. It is now Mr M and uses the pronouns it/it's.

Mr M told us aged 4 that it wasn't a girl, it was a boy and the chosen name was one we used at the time when it chose.

Then time went on and Mr M didn't comment on anything regarding feeling different about its body, but we noticed it was having difficulty with personal care. Being undressed seemed to be causing a response and soon Mr M became unable to wash. This is partly sensory from having autism but mostly due to gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia. 

Mr M has been on the waiting list to get some help with it's gender dysphoria since January 2022 and still we wait.

Because of PTSD caused by early childhood trauma, Mr M is unable to be around needles. This is an instant problem when talks of transitioning evolve because blood tests and testosterone injections involve needles. 

We have tried to get Mr M help from the school nurse, child social worker, early help worker, child in need plan worker, paediatrician, GP, private havening practitioner, child and adolescent mental health, NSPCC and mind. Noone has been able to offer any help at all. 

Mr M is behind in it's regular injection schedule for HPV and boosters. There is nothing we can do.

Over the past three years we have legally changed Mr M's name from Miss G to Mr M, found a community in our local mermaids group, met other people who are trans gender of different ages, been to many pride events (and there will be many more to come) and tried to help Mr M find a place where it feels it fits in. Mr M has difficulty with feeling like it fits in anywhere and gets down about this. Sadly the world is not very welcoming or accessible for a wheelchair user with autism who is trans gender. There are a lot of things to try and fit in with there.

We have open discussions about all topics, nothing is safe from being talked about (unless confidential) in our home from feetfinder to packers we talk about it all. We hope that by being open and not embarrassed or judgmental, that we can support our children and young people to feel safe and valued. 

Mr M is currently at an age where big decisions are being made about its future and what that looks like. A scary time for all of us, but especially difficult for Mr M. Decisions have always been a sticky point and the enormity of these doesn't help. 

We are hoping Mr M will find some likeminded individuals to build relationships with in the near future but at present we are keeping it as open as we can.