A day in pictures

This was how my 'relaxing day in the sun' began. I pass this area on my way down the ramp tothe back garden, so we have most of our potted plants together. I love it- they are so bright and smell amazing too. We already have bees visiting and a plethora of butterflies too. Our of shot are angel wings, roses, herbs and a selection of colourful flowers. We are also hoping the meadow flower mix will take but perhaps we left it a tad late this year.

The bark sesemed dry so I decided to top them up with water early on, givew them a fighting chance. The heat hit me as I left the house, like when you go on holiday and leave the aeroplane to a wall of warmth. I was so impressed with the strength of the rainbow it deserved to be captured in a photograph. If only it was that easy to create a pot of gold at the end too ...

Hubby arrived home with Miss G and her BFF just as Miss A was getting into mischief in the hot tub. I haad found myself a sunny area to relax in with my books, drinks and dogs and had even been able to drag a chair around again as a foot rest for my terribly swollen feet and legs (not heat related). The dogs had their campbed out in the shade (of course they didn't use it, preferring to lie in the sun and pant terribly (so Miss A soaked them a few times to help cool them down, especially our largest). We started off with two of these water cannons, ended up with just one, but the girls all had good fun soaking eachother, making it rain and cleaning the top floor windows. Strict rules over not soaking me or my chair were about it. The trampoline, garden and all who entered it were fair game.

Miss A and I had prepared for the day together as we left the house by collecting jars of water and adding mint. Apparently wasps don't like mint plants so it was something we had to try. I was ready with my Migralens overglasses on, two books to read, umbrella (it did rain later on a few times so I just carried on sitting there in the sticky heat, but in the shade of our beautiful inside out umbrella). 

I don't know how I managed it, but i finished reading How to be human, then moved on to this book pictured and have got to the point where the plot is becoming unravelled and it is getting more interesting. It seemed that I was being called every few seconds 'mummy...'.....'mummy....' with the oddest questions (actually fairly regular in our home). Between Miss A calling me, Miss G getting hot and bothered and not coping very well with it, then her BFF being left outside whilst Miss G calmed down again, I don't know how I managed to take in anything from the books or my surroundings. I felt like having bacon on the barbecue so did a quick amazon now order and we waited for our early evening delivery.

As soon as the delivery was made- Morrisons food in brown paper bags- the veg was chopped, sausages and bacon on a clean tray and out we went. The BBQ was heated (gas thank goodness or we would still be out there now waiting for it to heat up from our previous experiences), and on went our tea. We had sweet potato slices, courgette slices, onions, mixed vegetables, peppers (I love them when the skin is burnt and bubbles), gluten free chipolatas and, of course, bacon. 

We were umming and ahhing over whether to purchase a barbecue. Not being huge meat eaters we wondered whether it would be worth the money- would it be used enough? Since we have had it and found the patio gas we have had atleast four barbecues already. Vegetable kebabs, melted cheese on sausages...delicious. We were talking last night about whether we should have gone for the larger size- it never seems to be just our family here, we always have visitors....maybe next year 

After all the sun, reading, children, cooking, eating and drinking, a dip in thehot tub was in order. Not very dignified or graceful, but I got in and out safely

In the absence of light

Beating in my ears, positive messages

Lyrics carefully selected, playlist perfect

Mind breaks through

Journal with gels, felts, stickers

Activities, strong stories, uplifting quotes

Mind breaks through

Blocks, castles, my world

Windmills, crafting my imagination

Mind breaks through

Books to read, needs concentration

Print wanders, mixes, muddled in my head

Mind breaks through

Fleeting humour, children, pets

Smiling, almost forgetting

Mind breaks through

Underestimating the power of the mind

Dark, swirling, sucking me under

Starts with a ding, then a sting

Checking- Nothing

The mind breaks through

Logic knows exit exists

Brain cannot compute, links dissolved

Heartbreak took it all

Mind is winning

...

What do you see?

On our last walk outdoors we visited a local garden that has reopened to the public following closure due to coronavirus. Outdoor attractions seem to have the current advantage with the pandemic and rules over face masks. I certainly feel safer going outdoors than indoors anywhere at the moment, regardless of how much PPE people are covered in.

Things were slightly different to pre-covid19, we had to pre book before arriving at our designated time slot and then social distancing was advised throughout the area, although not always adhered to. There were arrows on the ground in an attempt at a one way system and most of the park area was closed for the children. Nothing felt awkward or over done.

We took hundreds of photographs along the way of beautiful plants, fairies, water birds and wooden sculptures. Here are just a couple of examples:

Not even the ferocious mosquitoes and gnats could put us off hiding under a tree to have our sandwiches, crisps and warm drinks whilst overlooking the lake and watching others, sitting at tables trying to pretend the rain wasn’t bothering them. 

Towards the end of our time there we meandered through the flower gardens where there are maze-like paths through different coloured plants. Many were so overgrown I had no chance of getting my wheelchair through them, but Miss G was an excellent assistant when it came to getting photographs of flowers out of my reach.

One particular area caught my attention. There was a bush full of these flowers (see above). They were in various stages of bloom and reminded me of dandelion clocks. (that reminds me- I must look into whether a dandelion clock becomes a yellow dandelion flower).

Each flower was protected by the seed ball which then peeled open to further its species, revealing this awesome sight. Seeing the petals curled up like this reminded me of nests, mother animals creating a safe and sheltered environment for their young, scaring off predators or interfering guests (don’t pretend you don’t understand that one). The bold and uninviting looking ‘spikes’ to keep potential danger away until they are ready to fend for themselves and accept visitors not dissimilar to a bitch growling, a snake hissing or a mother ignoring the front door and telephone.

It also made me think of the safety people feel within their own cocoon, be that alone or with friends and/or family. When the shit hits the fan, we all want to retreat to that cocoon of safety where we can count on support and rest to recuperate, gain strength and emerge when we are ready. 

I was brought up to hide the pieces of broken up shit under the legs of the fan, to keep it all inside and always think about what the outside perception would be. The favourite sentences uttered would be “What will people think?” and “Oh, it can’t be that bad really...it always happens to you doesn’t it" in a condescending, disbelieving tone.

I learned very young to not bother trying to seek support within the family home, to keep everything hidden and try my best to just carry on. As I have navigated through a rough and bumpy life i have come to see that is a very unhealthy way of trying to manage problems, and i do not recommend it. It is very difficult to undo years of being told one way of coping though. The one person I could go to sadly passed away 12 years ago now. I have a good friend who is feeling this pain now after suddenly losing her safety net too. There is no age limit on how this can have a devastating effect on us, but asa with everythin in life, it is how we manage to get through and cope with everything that is thown at us that makes us stronger. (I keep telling myself that- maybe one day it will work haha). As a family unit we are alone in the world. We have friends, but no family we can chat to or rely on. We can't call on a mum for support or help, can't pop over for a cup of tea and a natter or ask them to pick the kids up. Having children I think makes that safety net of a wider network more important for us all. Friends become family and we all find our way into support and understanding.

Once this flower has bloomed and gone out into the world, it will be alone, watching others still in their cocoon, others fighting for survival in the same position they are in and being admired by people like me, who probably think way too far into a simple flower blooming in the summer sun.

Do No Harm

We have been on many, many walks through the local tracks, pathways, parks and valleys over the past few months and I have spent many an hour looking through the nettles for ladybirds. No luck.

Around two weeks ago we found one ladybird that was lying, deceased, on the pavement opposite our local park, but other than that not a peep.

Then, yesterday we went for another walk and I spotted three ladybirds near each other on the nettles. They looked unusual, different to the ladybirds we are used to seeing here. Instead of the pillar box red colouring, this was more orange and the dots were more numerous.

I had heard of an invasive species of ladybird some time ago but not noticed any differences until this year. The invasive species is overtaking our native ladybirds by eating their eggs, larvae and their food and then laying many many eggs of their own instead. 

On the same walk we also came across this unusual bug. At first glance we thought it was a spider, but with only six legs it clearly falls into the insect family rather than the arachnids. 

Next thought was a type of caterpillar, but it wasn’t long enough for that and the legs didn’t fit either. So I took a photo and decided to research it at home. 

It turns out to be a larva of one of the harlequin ladybirds. 

On our walk we saw three of the ladybirds and two of these larvae. Bearing in mind we were walking a very energetic staffie cross and therefore had little time to stand and explore the nettles, that is quite a find. It explains the lack of native ladybirds we had noticed.

These bugs are ferocious. They are harmless to us- the worst they could do is stain your clothes yellow- but they are cannibals, eating their own kind, pretend to be native ladybirds by copying their colouring and are difficult to control as their needs are so similar to those of our decreasing native ladybirds. Just look at these photos!

In reading up about these creatures, I found a passage that describes them as a ‘halloween bug’ because around that time of year they can be found in large numbers and have been known to invade people’s houses! 

We have already had a home invasion of ants, flies keep coming in through the doors and windows and doing their geometry in the middle of each room. The last thing we need on top of that is an invasion of harlequin ladybirds! (not to mention the coronavirus this year too).

Heed this warning.

You might think that you are doing right by meddling, or that you have done no harm but this proves otherwise. You can't go into ana existing family and introduce a devastating change without fallout, pain, loss and heartache one one side and an earth shattering change on the other. Who knows what the long term effects will be.

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