Living in a home with three children with autism means we have to think very carefully before we say ANYTHING. All three of my children take things literally, with my eldest daughter being the most literal. As much as this can be awkward at times, particularly when members of the general public carelessly say things that then scare them, it also has it's more humerus side, that they can also laugh about once it has been shared and explained- at length- afterwards (mostly). A few of the most common examples we have that get taken literally:
'Jump into bed'
'I've got a frog in my throat'
'I have pins and needles in my foot'
'My feet have gone dead'
'It's raining cats and dogs'
'I'll be there in a second'
'That's cool'
'being thrown in the deep end'
'get a wriggle on'
'drink up'
'watch the step'
'watch that car'
'you look cold, could you go and get your jumper?'- usually answered by a yes or no rather than going to get their jumper
'take your coat with you'- literally takes it with them, not wearing it
'put your hat on'- on anything nearby
'dinner's ready'- they don't come to eat it until you tell them, one by one that their own dinner is ready and that they need to come and eat it
Everytime I say I'm freezing I get corrected swiftly, and the facts of actually being frozen told to me.
In an art class where wire was being used, the teacher got her wire cutters out and jokingly said 'right- has anyone got any wobbly teeth I can pull out then?' My daughter was visibly terrified and hid every time the teacher went near her, getting increasingly upset until we left early.
We're all getting ready, to try and get out of the house so I might absentmindedly say 'get yourself ready to go' which results in nothing being done (too ambiguous). 'Get your shoes ready to go' results in their shoes being put on the mat by the front door, but no attempts to put them on. 'Jump in the van' you can guess what happens.
Just the other day I caught myself saying something- I cannot remember what for the life of me- but she instantly stopped eating her tea, saying she was full up. Once I explained what I had meant, she polished off her tea. It is tiring, constant and forces us to be direct in our speech, leaving no room for misunderstanding.
'Can you have a bath tonight?'- well obviously they could, but they won't unless I tell them to, specifically.
I am forever listening to what people say to and around them, trying to prevent them taking anything literally that will scare or upset them, often praying people think carefully before opening their mouths, which of course they don't. Sometimes I say directly to people' please don't say that, you will scare them' or 'please don't say things like that, they will take you literally'.
As they all struggle so much with their emotions, communication, understanding and sensory input, a large part of our home education with them is to expose them to as much of everyday life as we can, through as safe and managed a way as we can to start, increasing their exposure as their levels of security, understanding and confidence grow. This includes helping them understand common idioms, sarcasm and jokes, three parts of communication they all struggle massively with, but which neurotypical people don't even think about. We cannot ever teach them all the permutations of language, but aim to help them manage their daily lives better and with more stability in their understanding of other people (as well as appropriate use of their own made-up 'jokes').
I love the programme The Big Bang, and the way Sheldon has been taught by his mother what the social conventions are in certain situations. His use of these is not always appropriate, but you can see why he believes them to be. I find the programme to be an accurate depiction of life with autism (even though the programme makers have never confirmed the character to have any specific diagnosis), and perhaps a fictional glimpse into the future. We are not trying to bring our children up to be like Sheldon Cooper- please understand that, but certain aspects of his coping mechanisms, such as those mentioned here, we see as positive coping strategies for our children and aim to expand this to the use of language.
I just need to keep watching what I say in the mean time
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