Dudley Zoo

I have to confess, until we went to The Pet Show last year, I had never heard of Dudley Zoo. It took us almost a year to finally make it there for a day out, but we finally made it last week.

We were prepared for a hilly walk- the zoo is set on the site of Dudley Castle, with the castle in the centre of the zoo. We had the special pushchair, drinks, picnic, coats, ear defenders etc all with us.

I will start at the beginning- the car park. We went on a cooler day, but still in the school summer holidays. The car park had plenty of space, but we really needed the chair to get from the car to the zoo entrance. The surface is gravel which leads out onto a tarmac pavement to the entrance, which is uphill.

The zoo entrance itself is indoors, the same location as the shop. The staff there didn't even look at our DLA letters, but we always have them anyway just in case someone actually looks at them one day. The lady who served us mentioned some maps and daily talk guides were somewhere roughly behind her, but with the children all so eager to get through the entrance I wasn't able to really listen to her. It would have been better if she had handed me one of each to be honest. The information is all on their website, which we accessed with good signal throughout the day, and there are plenty of maps around the site on boards.

Once through the entrance, the usual search for the toilets ensued. For your information- they are into the zoo, then turn left and they are next to the chair lift. The chair lift! Oh....you have to be 1.2m tall and over 7 years old (why is beyond me) and each chair is single seated. So...my very nervous, unpredicable and anxious 9 year old was tall enough and old enough to go on but I was terrified she would panic half way up it and there would be nothing I could do. My over confident 6 year old was too short and too young to go on. I can't understand why they don't change some of them to double seats. Anyway, moving on....

There is a land train that takes you from the bottom of the chair lift to the top via a longer route. This has a carriage at the back to put pushchairs in, but with everyone ramming their buggies in there like they were, we didn't are risk the chair getting damaged or falling out. We walked up and later on my husband walked down whilst I took the children on the land train.

I thoroughly recommend either having two able people who can carry the chair up and down stairs, or following the red dotted line on their maps. There are hidden steps around the site, all of which are shown on their map and easily avoided with the red route, but that often means taking a very long way around. Frustratingly it seems they could replace some of these steps with a ramp- not all of them seem possible to me- but they have stuck with the steps. Maybe it is something to do with their age or something, I really don't know. What I do know is that we need to go back again to turn right out of the zoo entrance to see the lorikeets, chimps and whatever else was up that way as there was no way we were getting past the funfair and back up another hill at the end of the day.

There is a sign at the entrance to the lemur walkthrough stating strictly no pushchairs allowed. With the combined age of the two girls 'working' there being less than my shoe size I decided not to even try explaining the special pushchair we use is actually in lieu of a wheelchair as my daughter wasn't that keen anyway. The general feeling from all the staff on the site is that they are not bothered. They don't want to be there and can't wait to get home. This is a real shame.

The worst part of our day was when we decided to have a rest by the sea lions. I only wanted to get some crisps and drinks- we can't eat or drink anything out, ever. The queue was so slow I can't even describe it to you. There were five members of staff behind the counter, two tills on the go and yet they seemed to be doing nothing. When we finally got to the till I wanted to pay for 5 bags of crisps- he couldn't find them on the till, then I ordered an orange juice, to be told they don't do it (it was on their menu above his head), a latte and three hot waters. I also needed a spare cup for the bottle of orange juice my son then found in the fridges behind us. I paid and we waited, and waited, and waited. The people before us were still waiting for two hot drinks, then our latte arrived with no hot waters. I had to remind them about those- fair enough, it happens....then I asked for that spare cup. I asked one girl, she stared at me and ignored me. I called her and asked again. Nothing. Then I asked the boy. Nothing. Then I got the attention of a second boy- the third member of staff all of whom were stood right next to eachother. I told him I was waiting for a spare cup, which I couldn't reach myself on account of the other people still waiting for their hot drinks, and that there were literally three of them stood there doing nothing and ignoring me so could he please just reach up and pass me a cup. Once cup. At last.

It seems, from what I overheard outside, that this was not just our experience there.

I should mention that my son momentarily lost his mobile phone and someone had handed it in to this same cafe. When I telephoned it they answered, didn't tell me where they were, couldn't confirm which animals they were near, but when I kept guessing they were able to confirm. My son did get his phone back. Perhaps they should have played one of the cafe games whilst they had it in their possession.

There are lots of different animals to see and little areas for the children to play and let off some steam on the way around. We had our picnic near the top of the chair lift in an area that seemed to be an old room of the castle. This had a lovely view but I did wonder where you could have a picnic in bad weather.

I liked that there weren't lots of temptations to spend more and more money during the day. There was a facepainting kiosk near the dreaded cafe, and a sweet stall near the entrance, but not much else. The exception we found was a harnessed trampoline in the castle walls. Our children all thoroughly enjoyed that as none of them had been on one for years.

The funfair was reasonably priced too. For the three children to go on everything they wanted to it cost us £15- far cheaper than at a travelling funfair. They have a token system so I would recommend adding up the tokens you will need before you go and buy any as it is cheaper to buy more.

We came away with lots of photos of our children poking their heads through boards pretending to be the different animals, photos of their favourite animals from the day and candyfloss.

Hoo Farm

Their glossy leaflets grabbed my children's attention many a time over the last 18months or so, and we have never made it until now.

I found a family ticket on Wowcher for use midweek during the summer holidays and it was excellent value compared to the normal entrance prices.

We arrived and found the tiny car park was full, so I left and parked on the pavement outside. The overflow car park is a long walk with three children with autism and a wheelchair and there were no parking restrictions in place. On our walk back in, which is along the main driveway, not ideal with impulsive children who are so easily distracted as mine, I noticed there was actually a farm gate to the left as you enter the tiny car park (no idea how anyone would turn a car to get in there unless they had been before and knew it was there) and people were parking in this area too.

The short walk in told me all I needed to know about the place- it is run down and needs some money putting into it to keep people visiting. I had suspected they may be a little like this from the fact they are on sites such as Wowcher where only a small proportion of the cost of tickets actually gets passed on to the attractions. However, we aren't a family who are wowed by flashing lights and busy places, so this didn't necessarily matter too much.

She made us wait whilst she sorted out piles of leaflets and papers- again, not ideal with three autistic children eager to get in there.

When we went in I spotted one instant issue. The floor is gravel throughout. Not just a thin layer of gravel, thick, big, chunky gravel so all day pushing the chair through it was terrible. My son had to take over a few times and my daughter had to keep her ear defenders on all day because of the noise of the gravel!

There is one disabled toilet in the place and we had a long long wait for this which turned out to be a member of staff taking FOREVER to 'clean' it. She must have missed the need for more toilet paper and the spiders! The mens only has one cubicle so it was difficult for my son to be able to use a toilet too.

The areas as you walk around bear little resemblance to the map you are given on your way in, and there is so much information provided on the paperwork that my children put it in my bag.

There is a good variety of animals to see, animals to feed and activities to do there and plenty of talks throughout the day.

We were unfortunate enough to be there on the same day as a YMCA trip who let the children ruin the under 5's play area and throw balls at us whilst they chatted and one leader was lay down on her side on the sofa. I never approach people like this, but it was so bad I went and got one of their leaders to make them aware of how unacceptable it was. If a ball had hit my youngest we would have had to leave and it would have ruined her day, and ours too. The leader told me that their group had challenging children in it and that was why they were so loud. Hmmm, no. My children would be classed as challenging by most professionals, yet they are not allowed to behave in this way in areas designated for children of a specific age that is not their own, or at all, and if you know you have children who may need more stimulation to aid their behaviour then you provide that and don't allow them the time to be distracted and display such undesirable behaviours, that was literally their job that day! Thankfully they left before us so we had some peace.

Breathe.

We sat at the tables by the under 5's play area and picnic area for our packed lunch so our youngest could wander safely (she can't sit still for long). Then we discovered the over 5's area, most of which wasn't working.

Towards the end of our time there we went to the fox talk. The member of staff running it announced that she had turned off the electric fence and that people had to be careful of their footing as they entered. She said this loudly, as if addressing us all. My children and another couple of families assumes- fairly so- that she was talking to them too and went to the gate to go in, to be told it was only for the four people who had been stood next to the woman and were on an experience. I felt so bad for all the children who had assumed this and it was completely the woman's doing. I was only glad that mine didn't take it too badly as I was able to say I had seen these encounters online and we could look at booking one maybe.

The pedal go karts were a hit - but the place needs to buy more and fix the ones they have, and the pirate water shooting game was equally as fun.

We visited their shop to break up the day a little and discovered £1.50 porcupine spines (which I would advise you buy at the end of the day, not like us as it stuck into my hand everytime I went into our bag after purchasing it), tattoos and lots of overpriced goods as well as a few pocket money priced items. I had to say no cuddly toys due to the prices so be aware of that if you have a cuddly toy fan as I do.

The animal food was a great idea on the way in. For £1 a bag each they hand fed deer, sheep and llama as well as walking in with the wallabies and hiding food for them to find later. Our walk in with the lemurs was short as the lemurs weren't playing ball and preferred to watch the people walk around their enclosure as they sat in their house - some irony there. There was a very friendly donkey who had lots of cuddles from my youngest every time we passed very slowly and reluctantly by, pigs, goats and much much more.

My children love animals and find them relaxing and comforting. Even just being around them has a profoundly positive impact on them, so for us it was still worth the day out. If your children aren't so keen on animals then there are far better places you can go within the area to see animals and have better facilities too for the same price or less.

If you are going to visit, make sure you take a supply of £1 coins with you for the pirate water shooting game, shark teeth, fossils, bouncy balls, stretchy animals and more.

For those with sensory issues it is smelly, full of old spider webs and spiders (more than needed), the gravel is a disaster and there is a lot to process as you walk around.

For wheelchairs the gravel is a nightmare, as is the tiny shop.

For autism the car parking, waiting to get in, staff being ambiguous and fact that it barely resembles the map is difficult.

I would never go there unless it was on offer again. I don't know if a carer gets in for free with a disabled visitor as on this occasion I was just glad when the lady deemed us worthy of her time to admit us to the place.

Black Country Living Museum near Birmingham

Our first visit here was during the summer holidays and using tesco vouchers. They have an offer currently, where if you purchase full price entry tickets then you can use them for entry for the next 12months, but on a first visit there is no guarantee we will stay more than five minutes, let alone be able to return anywhere.

Despite the time of year we found plenty of spaces in their car park and were able to park close to the entrance, with space to get the chair out of the car. There is a charge for parking, but this is standard at many attractions in the area unfortunately.

Our first impression upon entering was not great. Staff were too busy chatting to eachother to welcome guests and when I interrupted their conversation about their weekend plans to ask where the disabled toilets were I received abrupt directions and was told we had to join the queue. Instantly we were split into two. Husband joined the queue whilst we all went on the toilet run. I then had to undo their safety barriers to rejoin the queue as there was no way back to my husband without doing this. Thankfully the queue wasn't too long and we were reasonably prepared, but I do feel this is an area they need to improve upon.

My eldest spotted a vintage bus almost as soon as we were through the entrance gates (incidentally, for each person who is disabled and has proof, there is one carer admission for free), and bolted down the path, closely followed by my other two. Having never been here before I was unsure of the safety in the area, knew they would be lost if out of sight and so swiftly followed suit, abandoning my husband - again- with the chair that wouldn't fit in the bus. (on their website it states that wheelchair friendly transport is available if you telephone the duty manager, but I wonder if that has ever been tested- especially with a chair that people always annoyingly assume is a pushchair...I digress).

Catching this bus was actually a god send as it gave us a tour of the area and let us find our bearings- and the park and fun fair.

My plans for the day had been simple. Arrive, try to get them all in there, try to make it to the fun fair, then the park for a picnic and anything else was a bonus.
It turned out they all came up with this itinerary themselves once they spotted the helter skelter anyway, and we also managed a whole lot more.

The fun fair had some terrible reviews that had made me wary before our trip, but I found it to be perfect for us. The tokens aren't too expensive and there is a good variety of rides, without there being too many. There is no tacky fairground music, no flashing lights like at the modern fairgrounds, and they even have a mirror house. Our children LOVE the mirrors. We were in there for far longer than we should have been but who cares?

Our picnic in the park was relaxed, helped by the free deck chairs and plenty of shade available. As expected there were ridiculous queues for the chip shop, where we could have eaten chips, but a couple sat on a bench near us had queued for over half and hour for their chips, and decided they tasted just like normal chips. That made me feel a bit better for not queuing up.

The park itself is terrible for disabled visitors. There are steps everywhere, so the only piece of equipment that is accessible is a small roundabout that has bars you can move to put a small wheelchair on. As ours don't have physical disabilities we were ok, but it was so busy there we couldn't stay very long.

We let our children lead the day as this is what works best for us, and they chose to cross the bridge onto the street side, closer to the canal. We asked about ingredients in the sweet shop, but the girl didn't know. She told us 'I think these should be safe', which frankly isn't good enough. I know they are trying to be authentic, and I obviously wouldn't buy anything that I couldn't be sure of anyway, but does the law not apply here? That said, the sugar mice were too cute to resist, and I know they are ok for my youngest and would keep her going.

We eventually found the photo studio, but there are slots you have to write your name next to and these were all booked up by the time we arrived there. This was a shame as I did wonder how many of those were children messing around and would actually be free later on, especially with the smiley faces drawn there.

This led us to the boat trip area on the map our son had spotted. Across another bridge is a canal visitors centre, totally separate to the museum but with no barriers or people checking tickets. In theory we could have parked there and entered the museum for free, as people from our boat trip afterwards. This was a tad annoying given the admission prices for the museum, but maybe they will realise this one day and tighten up on it. The boat trip itself had no disabled pricing for children, and the lady told me where to leave our 'buggy'. I saw no point in correcting her, but it is annoying when people don't realise. I asked specifically how dark the tour would be, how long and how long we would be in the tunnels for. She answered my questions and my daughter was satisfied that she would be ok to go on the trip.

However, in one of the many dark caverns with noisy videos and lights playing, our youngest had a wobble and demanded to leave right now.

Obviously we couldn't do that, so I had to spend the time holding her so she didn't try to leave the boat, and try my best to keep her safe, whilst reassuring my eldest daughter that everything was ok and safe and had been there for a long time. I wish people were honest and had told us about these things. There is no way I would have taken my youngest on the trip if I had known there would be loud music and videos shown with the lights out in tunnels and caverns for that amount of time. My eldest was out out too- he really desparately wanted to try legging, but people had already been picked by the staff so he didn't get a look in. It would have been useful to have been told this, or asked if anyone wanted to try when we boarded the boat. This experience cost us more than the entrance to the museum had. But atleast we did it. Never again, but we did it.

Back in the museum again and we managed several more vehicle trips around the streets, played with some old fashioned toys and tried skipping in the street. My son had a look in the motorcycle shop, then got awkward and left when the man started asking him unwelcome questions about school and bikes. The lady in the pawnbroker was excellent. She seemed to realise my daughter was struggling to speak to her and became very visual instead in her explanations of how the shop would work. My daughter learned a lot from her.

The toilets around the museum were a bit hit and miss. Some were very noisy and others were ok. We had funny looks from people when we used the disabled, but we are used to that and ignore them.

We didn't make it to the rock and fossil shop, or the other buildings in between the park and the entrance, but it is looking positive for a return visit sometime soon, knowing what we now know we can plan a day there much better.

Long time no blog

I would love to blame this stunning weather we have been having, or the movement of the earth relative to the sun, but really? It has more to do with a lack of time where I still have the energy or brain power left to put any thoughts together to form a sentence.

Things here have continued to increase in their craziness....apparently that is possible, yes. I wouldn't have believed you if you had said that to me a year ago, yet here we are.

The same always helps to maintain the calmness...

Our little dog with a huge personality is making her feelings known increasingly and is still running to our youngest when she has a meltdown, which is amazing.
Besides that our animals seem to be all confused. Our ginger cat regularly sits in with our rabbit (sadly we had the death of a rabbit to deal with too), our rabbit plays with our dog and also growls at her when he has had enough- it really is something to watch them all together... 

Our eldest and youngest both had a lot of tummy aches and other symptoms, such as mouth ulcers, rashes and generally feeling bad that led me to doing allergy and intolerance testing for them both. It turns out that they both cannot have corn due to intolerances. I thought this would be simple enough- WRONG!! Corn is in EVERYTHING. It is so hard. Just so you know I am not just blowing this into something it isn't....

Family member 1: Allergy to dairy. Intolerant to corn and derivatives, cashew nuts, gluten, celery and more.

Family member 2: Allergy to egg. Intolerant to gluten. Intolerant but no symptoms as yet to dairy. Intolerant to cooked tomatoes.

Family member 3: Allergy to dairy products. Intolerant to gluten, corn and derivatives, peanuts and more.

Family member 4: Allergy to soya, dairy products, egg. Intolerant to gluten, yeast and more.

Family member 5: no intolerances or allergies but lives with us so has to eat all the weird food we do.

Add to this us all having hayfever, one with asthma, two with excema and it is crazy. Eating out cannot happen except for a very small choice at McDonalds, and then only at ones we can trust (not ideal).

Shopping for food is a nightmare as I have to read ALL ingredients on EVERYTHING. I cannot buy meat in the shop, it has to be from a butcher who butchers their own meat. Any processed food is a no-no. This means a lot of home cooking, most of which is a disaster because all recipes need to be altered for our diets. Plus, add on top of that the fact the children's autism and sensory processing difficulties and I wonder how they actually eat anything at all.

We are back in the loop of potato products (very few are ok but thankfully I have found a handful that work) with peas and carrots, crisps, biscuits and cereal. Of course, each of these has to be the specific brand in the specific box/bag. Our trusted cereal changed their packaging recently to advertise the new Jurassic Park film, so now our youngest can't eat those anymore :(

The rate at which we are going through Bob's Red Mill 1 for 1 flour is noones business. I am in a bit of a panic internally at the moment actually with a birthday this week coming, and the inevitable pressure of having to make a cake without all of the above ingredients. Plus, icing- this contains corn flour so is a no-no. I have learned to make my own but it is time consuming and a pain in the proverbial. I am still experimenting with cake recipes too and they might work one day but not the next- like all gluten free cooking it seems. I have discovered they like a particular brand of marzipan though- bonus!

Besides the food issues, we have been trying to keep as busy as we can, allowing for down time inbetween busy times. It seems to be working on the whole, but the days out we have been doing are very child centred. I still know that if I tried to persuade them into anything else they hadn't picked then we would be met with resistance leading to issues.

We have managed a canal tour though, something I have wanted to do since moving here, but ssshhhh....don't tell them it was my idea ;)

We have had a nice break from professionals too so things have calmed down around appointments until next week. Oh, and our eldest has started to feel able to go out a bit more and even talk to other people. Yesterday he even went on a day trip with people he hadn't met before (to a place he knows very well and with a phone to contact me if needed) and had an awesome day. We even just caught him outside playing with the boy from next door over the fence :)

Our eldest daughter has been struggling more, but she always does over these months, and we keep having to get her through, which is what we are doing currently.

Our youngest is still the whirlwind she always has been.

A rough week

Monday

Nervously attended short breaks' service sports session that he had been to before, in the same place he had been before, with the same lead as before, but new staff working for the short break provider were straight in his face, trying to include him, trying to talk to him about things he didn't want to talk about, didn't take the hints from him to shut down the conversation, inviting more and more people to talk to him. As a Mum I had alarm bells ringing loudly at this point and was amazed he even stayed for the session. By the end I had a warning text from my husband that he hadn't coped well at all and wasn't able to talk to him at all. He had stormed out past the staff at the end. Once home he sat with me and explained he had felt left out, felt noone cared there, noone had noticed him and he was angry at having to go to sessions where there are others with more obvious disabilities and needs than him, which makes him feel self conscious and he wants to go to mainstream activities. He had wanted to play basketball so the lead gave him a basketball and left him to get on with it. He didn't want to join in with the silly games others were playing so had sat on the edge, alone, watching people play badminton next door instead, with noone coming to speak to him at all.

Tuesday

Busy day with me at a course, sister at the local care farm, dog was sick, then a home education meet at a play area where his friend would be. Things have been difficult for him with his friend recently as he is noticing the age gap more and more when they are together in person (less so online but still there) and is getting frustrated. Basically both my son and his friend are very similar and strongly prefer to play their own games in their own way (in person and online) and it is difficult to know when to intervene and when to leave them work it out as a parent because this is such an important skill for them to develop, but at the same time could have explosive results. After there we headed to the gym for a quick workout and a swim, but the swimming pool was in use for lessons so our only choice was the larger, cooler pool. He wouldn't even consider that option so we stuck to the gym and shower instead. He was very down about this saying everything he had wanted to do today he hadn't been able to do.

Wednesday

Swimming. This time we checked the pool timetable before heading out solely for a swim in the lovely warm pool, after an aqua aerobics class I had booked myself onto. He was going to join in too, but the lack of males and those under 40 severely put him off (understandable) so he made do with my bank card and a trip to the cafe instead, meeting me in the pool later on, then meeting up in the cafe after our swim once again.
Later on both his sisters had a short break session booked but he didn't want to go. This, followed by a local autism group meeting, would mean him home alone for a couple of hours, but he was happy with that, knowing we had our phones and weren't far away. (He knows what to do in an emergency, has access to phones and is more than capable of getting out in a fire). Despite this he panicked and rang me, upset, asking how long we were going to be when we were on our way home.

Thursday

His sisters bank cards arrived this morning and he lost his temper, saying everything he thinks is just for him gets ruined by them getting or doing it too. Then he had his regular gymnastics session this morning where they were working towards their badges. Sadly his sister got her badge today and he has a couple of skills to pass next time before he can pass the same badge. This did not go down at all well. He was very angry and upset but did well to return to the session for the cool down at the end. We all went to the gym in the afternoon for a swim, paying for a day pass for his sisters and dad. I had spoken to him before even asking them, checking he was alright about them coming there, and he was excited that he could play with them in the pool and happy for the girls to join up to come swimming regularly with us (probably aimed more at his youngest sister I suspect though). In the pool he was rude, angry, dangerous and refused to engage or listen. He was picking on his sister again and it was a very difficult time. On top of this he was very nervous about the social worker coming in the morning to see them all and this led to a meltdown at bedtime.

Friday

Refusal to get up and see the social worker ended in him going downstairs to say hello, but she will return to see him again and fill out some paperwork she has about each child. After the stress of her visit (I have massively understated this and the effect it had on him and us here) we had time for a quick lunch (which he didn't want or like any of apparently) before his friend came over to play.


This has been a very emotional and difficult week for him and whilst I appreciate this, and can see how a lot of these things have a negative impact on him, I cannot allow the bullying of his sister to continue. I have realised he almost projects his dislike for his sister onto others who have similar needs to her when he meets them at events and activities where he then feels superior and acts as such in his role of leader. This is then all released when he returns home where he feels safe and we have to deal with the fallout.

Masking.

Our eldest daughter is able to mask her difficulties to some extent, people often just say she is quiet or shy (which makes my blood boil). But my eldest and youngest mask their anxieties in such complex ways noone ever sees it or realises what is going on, even when we have told them, leaving us to deal with the fallout time and time again.