Graveyard Squirrels

On the advice of my carer, my husband and I went to our local grave yard to walk my little dog Bella this weekend. There were so many old graves, obviously from rich families of the past. Some graves were sinking near trees, cracked, lifted up off the floor and falling over. There were small graves the size of a shoe box, huge graves so tall I wondered how they were still standing and everything inbetween. Some were for multiple people in families, children, babies and adults too. Some had verses, pictures, crosses and windows on. Some stood straight up and others lay flat with railings or raised stone details marking their borders. One was decorated for Halloween.

My carer says the squirrels nest under the lifted gravestones.

We parked up and got out of the car. Before we had even put the ramp away there were atleast 7 squirrels gathering from near and far across the way from us. People obviously feed them, not just us. They were all over the graves, trees and grass, leaping like newborn lambs towards our car. Everytime we stopped along our walk the same thing happened. At one point two squirrels had a quarrel that alerted my poorly sighted dog to their presence. 

Later on in our walk amongst the gravestones from long ago and more recent, my husband stopped and patiently waited for a squirrel to feel confident enough to eat out of his hands.

I videoed the squirrels for my children to see, a nice thought that even in death you aren't alone. Even if you feel your loved one is abandoned in a far away cemetery there will be company for them. 

We have already been back there once and plan to make it a regular area to walk Bella and maybe ponder life ourselves.

Welcome Unicorns

Looking back through my blog I have realised certain major parts of our life are missing. One needs addressing right away

There no longer is a Miss G. It is now Mr M and uses the pronouns it/it's.

Mr M told us aged 4 that it wasn't a girl, it was a boy and the chosen name was one we used at the time when it chose.

Then time went on and Mr M didn't comment on anything regarding feeling different about its body, but we noticed it was having difficulty with personal care. Being undressed seemed to be causing a response and soon Mr M became unable to wash. This is partly sensory from having autism but mostly due to gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia. 

Mr M has been on the waiting list to get some help with it's gender dysphoria since January 2022 and still we wait.

Because of PTSD caused by early childhood trauma, Mr M is unable to be around needles. This is an instant problem when talks of transitioning evolve because blood tests and testosterone injections involve needles. 

We have tried to get Mr M help from the school nurse, child social worker, early help worker, child in need plan worker, paediatrician, GP, private havening practitioner, child and adolescent mental health, NSPCC and mind. Noone has been able to offer any help at all. 

Mr M is behind in it's regular injection schedule for HPV and boosters. There is nothing we can do.

Over the past three years we have legally changed Mr M's name from Miss G to Mr M, found a community in our local mermaids group, met other people who are trans gender of different ages, been to many pride events (and there will be many more to come) and tried to help Mr M find a place where it feels it fits in. Mr M has difficulty with feeling like it fits in anywhere and gets down about this. Sadly the world is not very welcoming or accessible for a wheelchair user with autism who is trans gender. There are a lot of things to try and fit in with there.

We have open discussions about all topics, nothing is safe from being talked about (unless confidential) in our home from feetfinder to packers we talk about it all. We hope that by being open and not embarrassed or judgmental, that we can support our children and young people to feel safe and valued. 

Mr M is currently at an age where big decisions are being made about its future and what that looks like. A scary time for all of us, but especially difficult for Mr M. Decisions have always been a sticky point and the enormity of these doesn't help. 

We are hoping Mr M will find some likeminded individuals to build relationships with in the near future but at present we are keeping it as open as we can.