This is the second time this week I have been out for a walk (roll) with the dog (and my husband) in the rain and had to cover myself with a blue plastic sack (advertised, packaged and sold as a rain mack).
Luckily I have never been into fashion, seasonal wardrobe changes or shopping, but I did always have my own style and self respect.
Since my health has been worsening I have had to give up a lot of things- I mean a whole lot. My life has completely changed, in every single way you could think of. I struggle with that on a daily basis and am still finding it scary and difficult to come to terms with (yes, I am getting professional help with that, well I was before this coronavirus rudely interrupted it anyway).
Having to use a walking stick, then a rollator was terrible. I felt so self conscious about it, especially the rollator (basically a zimmer frame with wheels). I bought the one that least looked like a zimmer frame and it was extremely useful for a while, but then that had to go too.
Using a manual wheelchair was hard. Having to be pushed around by someone and relying on them for everything when I had always been so independent and active sucked (I can't think of a better word). In a shop, I would want to look at something but the person pushing me would accidentally go straight past it, then I felt too embarrassed to ask all the time to go back.
The self propelled wheelchair I had after that was a bit better, but my arms soon got too weak and painful to use it other thn on flat and smooth surfacees (very limiting). Hearing my friends and family struggling to push me and my chair up a hill was awful. I felt so guilty about it I would try to avoid going anywhere where that would be needed. (my friends and family never complained and would hate to know I felt that way, but I think it is natural to feel guilty if you know you are making something difficult for your friends or family).
With self propelling atall I had to stop wearing the bangles and fashion rings I have always loved wearing. They constantly got caught in the wheels and hurt my hands.
I had to stop wearing jeans because the stitching details and little fixings would dig into my skin where i was sat down in the chairs. That meant leggings or joggers. I had never left the house in joggers before being in a wheelchair. I lived in jeans and a t shirt/top and a jumper.
Leggings are a great option and I love wearing them, but they are not made for sitting down in. They do not come up far enough at the back. Constant builder's bum isn't a great look!
I had to change my clothes entirely over time. I have longer tops now, to hide the gap left by leggings at the back, dresses I can wear with long socks (I love those) or snag tights (lovely colours and options available there) and joggers.
When I am out of the house and need the toilet (sorry but this is important), I need someone to help me pull my clothes back up. If this is family I will wear anything, but when it isn't family there is no way I am wearing tights or leggings! I don't have much dignity left, but that little bit i am gripping on to with my bitten and cracked fingernails.
Often when I am out and about, I will have joggers and a top on because tht is the easiest for whoever is out with me and will need to help me. I have surrendered to that fact.
So the joggers, the long tops and the fact I need help in the loo has all become acceptable-ish now. But, as if to stick two fingers up at me, my body has caused me even more issues over the last few months and made my feet swell up so much I can no longer wear any of my shoes.
So, I went onto the quickest large deslivery website we all use and ordered myself a pair of pink shoes for people with swollen feet (oedema). Then, with the weather change, we went to a local store and purchased a pair of woollen socks for people with oedema and a pair of full shoes in navy.
The selection there was awful. Literally, my 90 year olf grandma would have refused to wear any of them. But needs must.
So now, I am the (not so proud) owner and wearer of old person's velcro, no grip soled fabric shoes.
In the evening, when the shoes come off, there are still dents in my feet from the gentle, loose velcro, but atleast they don't hurt to wear (physically anyway).
I wish there was a pair that looked like converse, were a nice colour, had patterns on that weren't floral (you know the type). Why can't designers make shoes for younger people who have swollen feet? for younger people who use a wheelchair?
I have found some online that are more acceptable, but still aimed at the older customer, but the price on them is ridiculous (as with most things designed for people with disabilities). I can't even walk, so there's no way I am buying expensive shoes i don't even like!
To add insult to injury, this week the weather has turned as mentioned above.
My dog doesn't care what the weather is like. She needs a walk regardless. So, on go the old person fabric shoes with no grip whatsoever, the oversized coat (the only way we can manage to get my arms in without a lot of pain), the migralens glasses (to help prevent migraines) and the blue plastic bag.
You might be thinking I am exaggerating here, but I promise you I am not
It covers every part of me except my hands and face. I hate it.
I spent a considerable amount of time searching the internet and social media for a more friendly option but found nothing. There was navy blue or black, lined or unlined. That was that.
Why is it that people think this is alright? Would you wear this?
I said to my husband today.....I could be naked under here and noone would know! (far too cold for that today but something to think about when you pass anyone wearing one haha!).
In an ideal world, my shoes would be soft and fastened by velcro but be purple/pink or patterned like a trainer. The "mack" would have some shape to it, made using a pattern and elastic. The hood would be larger and have a peak to it to keep the rain off my face, and there would be gloves attached for driving the chair around.
Another thing whilst I am going on like this....what do people think we do when we get home from a walk in the rain/blossom/muddy paths etc. We can't take our shoes off and walk into the house in clean socks or slippers. We have to clean our wheels and then go inside. I have six of them and chronic fatigue and chronic pain. it is honestly such a nuisance. Is there a solution I haven't found yet?
OK, I am done moaning/venting now. If I could sew well enough i would make these items above, Perhaps someone will read this and use it as a business opportunity.....who knows.
Until that happens, stay safe everyone
PS- I don't know if it is a mack or a mac. But you get the idea :)
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