The new me
I see you there, staring back at me
Your face betrays the emotions I try to hide
Hair sticking out at will, no makeup on
Facial padding come from nowhere
Adverts say to change habits, lose pounds
Pain, fatigue and medications oppose
Choice of shocks, tremors or ballooning
Is there an option? What to choose
Gym days, swimming, walking miles
A distant memory as I look at you now
All that work to lose baby weight, tone up
Dancing for hours, unusual foods,
None of it touched the agony I felt,
Stopping me in my tracks, breath stolen
Eight to eighteen on painkillers
Eleven, two, eight
Tens machine, patches, creams
Hardly the late thirties of my dreams
Grieving for my life, wishing I could go back
Stuck in this chair, can’t climb even one stair
Kissing my children goodnight
Reading to them in bed
All stolen from me, so cruel, just unfair
I miss my life,my body, my ability
Yearn to climb the wooden hill,
Don’t want carers, social workers, loss of dignity
Normal family life, just us, making memories together
Wishing noone here was ill.
A.DR.
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