Christmas day

I am writing this a week on from Christmas Eve purely b cause things have now returned to -almost- normal for our household. The decorations are still up (more about that in a bit), we have a new puppy (not for Christmas I must add), we still have our Santa divider plates out, but the levels of anxiety and daily activities are certainly returning to some sense of normality.

This time last week I cannot tell you how careful we had to be here. Expectations were enormous and confused- our eldest decided to announce, to his little sisters that he doesn’t believe in Santa and that he knows mummy and daddy get the presents (my 8 year old LOVES Christmas and Rudolph), the ice and snow had finally cleared from our street so snow dog was no longer in our garden (cue huge upset to the extent that we have one of his frozen ears in a pot in our freezer for our 8 year old to be able to cope with the thaw) and they were all so excited about getting 5e plate and key ready for Father Christmas that our daughters ere trying to get to bed as soon as it got dark, in the hope that would make Christmas sooner!
When it came to bedtime of course things ere totally different. We tried the relaxing bath, book and tucking them into bed....then tried reading more books.....then fun kids radio station via their Echo dot....then resorted to swapping shifts kneeling by 5year olds bed, purely to keep her in it so we could fill their sacks 😴 it was nearly 2am before we managed to get to bed ourselves. A familiar tale No doubt.

Christmas Day itself was helped by us opening one gift on Christmas Eve to relieve some of the wait and anxiety around the secret presents. We also played a family game of escape the room-a boxed game which was very enjoyable and challenging for us all, but we will try to get another one for next year.

We all open our presents in the morning so they don’t have to wait and there are therefore less demands on them. The one expectation we have is for us all to sit at the table for dinner on Christmas Day, so all other demands are removed. We have a (new) pyjama day, build Lego sets, pile up new gifts in the corner because they are new and that is scary, have variations on Christmas dinner ranging from a full dinner to a divider plate containing a small selection of food such as pigs in blankets and potatoes, then burn some brandy and watch TV or whatever they want to do for the rest of the day. We are lucky, in a way, that we don’t have any family that we need to visit or entertain-I remember those days from when I was younger👎🏻 (Of course there are lots of other factors involved in having no family too).

In the evening we had tears and upset at the day being over and the prospect of decorations being taken down soon. My only way through it was to agree on 12th night (ssshhh.....we always keep decorations up until then anyway) and that we would find her a new room decoration to replace the Christmas ones. I do agree with her that the house looks bare for a while after the decorations go down so do have sympathy.

Since then we have been tying to coax the children out for a walk (we managed a woodland walk) and generally out anywhere. Today was lovely because I took my eldest daughter to the care farm to deliver Christmas presents (unfortunately she was unwell before Christmas with her asthma). Her whole being lights up when we go there 😍🐎 we groomed her favourite horse before returning home to play with the puppy

Our son has been away at his biological fathers for a few days, and we know from experience that things have the potential and likelihood of being difficult on his return. He masks his anxieties and difficulties the whole time he is with him behind a ‘little man’/‘good boy’ mask, then explodes when he is home and feels safe again. Thankfully his father only has him for this length of time once a year, but last year we had serious physical assaults from him as he returned home and dropped the mask. This year we are trying to be more prepared. We hope.

I tried to explain to my youngest (5) this evening that it is New Years Eve and therefore tomorrow is a new year....mistake! She did not like that idea at all....obvious really, of course a new year signifies the demand for change as does ‘new’ anything.  Happy New Year everyone :)